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The Anonymous Blonde's Parlor Games for the Next Millenium
Play # 1, Actor B
(keeps his eyes on his magazine) You don’t say.
Oh, extraordinarily so.
I was, #n. I was just thrilled.
Go ahead.
Yes, very.
It’s about swimming.
No. It’s what to take with you when you go swimming.
Yep.
Yes, it’s Maxim.
Not much.
Well, just because you haven’t seen me do it, don’t mean I haven’t done it, huh?
Yes, with David.
Nope.
Swum.
Oh, I was admiring you.
For using swum, I do. (pause) You were always a good one for your principal parts.
Who knows. (pause) I thought you were going to get another cup.
The beach. David.
You were talking about David, actually. You and David, swimming, having a wonderful time.
With David.
I guess.
I thought we weren’t going to talk about David.
We weren’t going to talk about any of it.
It hasn’t been that long of a time.
You were going to get another cup.
I’m fine.
You’d better go and get it.
What?
Well, if you want it, you shouldn’t worry. Have it.
The coffee. Have the coffee.
Okay.
I’m having a wonderful time.
No, really, I’m not. This is very cozy. I like this place, I like this article, I have a good cuppa joe, I have a comfortable chair, there’s a pretty girl sitting across the table from me, I’m very happy.
Still?
Maybe.
No.
I told you.
Not in a place like this. Maybe at a soda fountain.
You know, if you want another cup, you should have one.
My treat, okay?
(pause) It doesn’t matter.
%n. Just remember it doesn’t matter.
It doesn’t. Don’t think about it.
We decided. We talked about it all night, don’t worry about it anymore. We already decided. You don’t have to think about it.
You don’t have to.
Have to what?
%n.
You know you can’t. You know we can’t.
You know we talked about this.
Uh-huh.
I can’t see how any good could come out of any of this shit, %n.
I don’t. I don’t see anything noble in any of it. I don’t see anything noble in how he -- fuck, that wasn’t fucking noble, that was full of shit, and. I don’t see anything fucking noble about us.
No.
Don’t cry.
People are starting to look at us, %n, don’t cry, come here.
It’s okay. It’s okay. (pause) It’s gonna be okay.
It’ll be -- it’ll be okay. (long pause) It’s just, you know we can’t, right? You know -- even outside of all this shit, all this shit about-- about David, all that shit, even outside that, you know we don’t have the money.
This just isn’t the time -- it’s not the time for this kind of thing. You know that.
I’ll get you another cup.
I’ll get you another cup. You know, I don’t even know if pteradon is a word, exactly.
Sure we are. Sure we are.
Must have been.
Yeah. (long pause. He takes a step back.) I have to go. I have -- a meeting.
You want me to walk you home?
Yes.