The sandwich is delicious—the softness of the bread complements the less yielding but wonderfully silken texture of the chocolate filling. "This beats even the fabled mint-and-dinner-rolls confections of yore," you sigh contentedly as the solution seeps into your veins, turning your blood into an inflexible, cocoa-hued resin and rendering you—quite literally—dead. Your family thinks you have entered a satisfied slumber—they don't notice until they get to the motel. At the family reunion, relatives set up your pleasantly calcified corpse & drape it with tear-dewed flowers.

THE END