Quick quiz, hotshot!

Instructions: Answer only the questions you feel comfortable with. Answers left blank will not count against you. This is only a survey of your feelings. Answer honestly. There are right or wrong answers.

1. Who is the president of the United States of America?
Jonathan Brandis is dreamy!
You will perish.

2. A bully comes up to you. What do you do?
I mule-kick the one on the right, elbow the guy on the left, drop the cross and somersault to freedom.
I stomp!

3. One time I met the ugliest man in the world.
It was at a Warriors' Convention.
He was dead, but I'm pretty sure he was ugly in real life, too. In fact, I know he was.

4. Would you work at a Dairy Queen?
Only if I could lick the counters clean.
Fuck that noise!

5. Idiots: cool or scary?
I don't care. The important thing is, yes. Look. Listen. Look. I want to get invited to the jumbelaya!

6. Do you want: (a) a man to hug and kiss; (b) a dog to hug and kiss; or (c) a stupid blanket?
Well, my feets are cold, so...
Feets, don't fail me now!