Who's Your Ideal Top Gun Match?

          Do you feel the need.... for love? Have your attempts to proposition feisty scientists gone unaccepted? Perhaps you are just looking for love in all the wrong men's rooms! This test will determine the type of person with whom you are most compatible.

          So, hot shot, are you ready to take a trip? I warn you you'll have to drive on the highway.... the highway to the ardor zone! (Okay, that was bad.)

          Prepare yourself... for TOP FUN!!

          (That was worse.)

1. Ideally, you would meet your match at:
A bar: they would stand out from the crowd, your eyes would meet.
A bar: they would say something sexually suggestive, you would act all aloof, but in a flirtatious way.
A bar: they would flirt clumsily with an awkward grin, and then you'd dance together to a cheesy song.
A bar: you would both be the designated drivers for your party, and you would trade opinions about literature and art while your companions boozed it up.

2. For your birthday, your ideal match would:
Take you out to dinner at a nice restaurant and present you with a thoughtful, expensive gift.
Show up on your doorstep with a six-pack and a thoughtful but inexpensive gift wrapped in crumpled newspaper.
Possibly forget the actual day, but make it up to you later in some over-the-top, fabulous way.
Bring you a basket of apples they picked from the highest branches of the tree.

3. Your ideal match shows their love by:
Loudly singing your special song off-key in public.
Always making sure you're wearing your helmet before you do dangerous sports.
Hot Sex.
Looking down at you and smiling.

4. Into every life a little rain must fall-- even an ideal life. How would you and your ideal match resolve conflicts?
Talking them out rationally and calmly.
Diffusing the situation with humor.
Bickering at increasingly elevated levels, and then breaking the tension by passionately making out.
Whoever's tallest wins

5. Your ideal wedding:
The works-- glitzy hall, fancy dress, everybody you both know.
A mature, serious, spiritual ceremony, befitting the solemnity of committing to such a momentous promise.
A small gathering of your closest friends and family in someone's home. Everyone would trade funny stories, eat sandwiches, and have a good time.
A chapel with high ceilings.