The Plot... A cargo barge full of lethal poisonous gas has been borrowed by the most dangerous terrorist in the world (Gene Hackman). With the help of a contracted chemical hacker, the CIA hopes to reclaim the hijacked technologies and return them to their original owner. PETA, with the assistance of Stanley Menchgood (Owen Wilson), must mountain bike through the Sahara Desert to return the hijacked thermo-nuclear explosives safely to the American government. As if it wasn't hard enough, he has less than 15 weeks to do it. With the assistance of a leather-faced stick in the mud (Sean Connery), the good guys must mountain bike through the New Jersy Turnpike to deliver the hijacked thermo-nuclear explosives promptly to the Japanese people. All this worsens as he realises that his high school sweetheart (Catherine Zeta-Jones) has been working with the the bad guys. Also we have the madcap tomfoolery of a sass-talking black man (Chris Tucker) who when kidnapped by the the bad guys says: "You are some scary ass niggas!" However this will prove difficult seeing that a nosy reporter (Lawrence Fishburne) has secrets pertaining to his messy life of crime. Just as our heroes are setting out on their perlious journey, they poorly lapse into a sing-along of Werewolves of London much to the chagrin of the NCAA . In the eleventh hour the President fumbles through a decree to the citizens of the world. As this dramatic grandstanding happens he says: "When I took office, they never told me THIS would happen. This is the dawn of a new tomorrow." An NCAA explosives expert watching at home answers this with: "I pray to God he's right."
Coming this spring. This film is not yet rated. Projected Critic Rating: |