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The Plot... A donkey train loaded with nuclear warheads has been hijacked by military genius (Gene Hackman). With the help of a private computer expert, the ATF hopes to reclaim the hijacked computer chips and get them back to their rightful owner. The NCRP, with the help of Humphrey Henchwinch (Ed Begely, Jr.), must mountain bike through the jungle to deliver the pilfered thermo-nuclear explosives safely to the English people. As if it wasn't hard enough, he has less than 12 days to do it. With the aid of a leather-faced marine (Sean Connery), our hero must skateboard through the San Fransisco to deliver the stolen nuclear warheads in a timely manner to the English people. All this worsens as he figures out that his 8th grade Social Studies teacher (Nicole Kidman) has been carjacked by the evildoers. Along with this there is the loveable slapstick of a sass-talking black man (Dave Chapelle) who when captured by the the villain says: "All I know is when I get out of this here cell I'm gonna kick whitey's ass!" It will prove difficult because a cop with a vendetta (Ray Liotta) has information regarding his lackluster life of crime. Just as the good guys are leaving on their perlious mission, they stupidly all burst into a sing-along of Leavin' on a Jetplane much to the embarrassment of the NCAA . In a stunning climax the President issues a decree to the governments of the world. As this moment of truth drags on he says: "When I took office, they never told me THIS would happen. Drop the bombs, Commander." An ATF explosives hacker in the crowd answers this with: "He better be right... for our sake."
Coming this summer. Rated PG-13 Projected Critic Rating: |
