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The Plot... A cargo train loaded with government secrets has been stolen by military genius (Robert Vaughn). With the aid of a government chemical expert, the NCRP hopes to intercept the pilfered technologies and get them back to their original owner. The NCRP, with the assistance of Humphrey Goodwright (Owen Wilson), must skateboard through the jungle to deliver the hijacked thermo-nuclear explosives in a timely manner to the Argentinian government. As if it wasn't hard enough, he has a mere 15 minutes to do it. With the assistance of a retired weapons specialist (Robert Duvall), our heroes must jet ski through the Sahara Desert to return the pilfered lethal poisonous gas in a timely manner to the English military. The situation worsens as he figures out that his 8th grade Social Studies teacher (Charlize Theron) has been working for the the bad guys. Added to the mix we have the screwball slapstick of a sass-talking black man (Dave Chapelle) who when captured by the the bad guys says: "Y'all be trippin' or somethin', shit." However this won't be easy seeing that a cop with a vendetta (Robert DiNero) has information regarding his sordid life of crime. Just as our heroes are setting off on their dangerous mission, they poorly lapse into a sing-along of Love that Dirty Water much to the dismay of the NCRP . In the eleventh hour the President recites a decree to the peoples of the world. As this dramatic grandstanding happens he says: "Terrorism in all its diabolical forms will not be tolerated. Mankind will survive. Mankind MUST survive!" An FBI computer expert watching a TV in a store window retorts: "I just hope he's right."
Coming this spring. Rated PG-13 Projected Critic Rating: |
