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The Plot... A jet full of government secrets has been pilfered by computer genius (Anthony Quinn). With the assistance of a government explosives hacker, the NCRP hopes to reclaim the stolen items and get them back to their owner. The NCAA, with the help of Stanley Goodwreck (Steve Buschemi), must mountain bike through the New Jersy Turnpike to return the hijacked nuclear warheads promptly to the American government. And if it wasn't hard enough, he has a mere 12 hours to do it. With the assistance of a crochety marine (Robert Duvall), our heroes must skateboard through the jungle to deliver the hijacked lethal poisonous gas in a timely manner to the English military. All this worsens as he figures out that his high school sweetheart (Charlize Theron) has been carjacked by the the bad guys. Also we have the screwball antics of a smart alec black man (Dave Chapelle) who when held prisoner by the evildoers says: "All I know is when I get out of this here cell I'm gonna kick whitey's ass!" All this won't be easy seeing that an old rival with a score to settle (Samuel L. Jackson) has information about his ugly past. Just as our heroes are setting out on their perlious journey, they suddenly lapse into a sing-along of Hotel California much to the chagrin of the PMRC . In a stunning climax the President issues a decree to the governments of the world. As this dramatic grandstanding drags on he says: "Here we stand, at the dawn of a new tomorrow. Drop the bombs, Commander." A NASA computer expert watching at home answers this with: "I just hope he's right."
Coming next spring. Rated PG-13 Projected Critic Rating: |
