Fiction LNE
Fiction Friday

The Many Conflicts of Perdro the Elf and the Elves Committee

Chapter 1: Elves vs. Nature

The Elves Committee was on its way to get its usual morning pick-me-up--donuts and coffee. The Elves Committee liked to eat the same thing every morning.

Suddenly, a beggar sprang out from an alley! He proceeded to do what he had been called to do--he begged, he panhandled, he wheedled, he whined. "Inshallah, oh merciful sons of Heaven," he said, "can you spare a rupee for a poor man? Alms for the poor!"

"I need all my alms to pay for the donuts and coffee," responded the Elves committee brusquely, brushing off his moans and gibbers.

The elves committee went into the building. Like many committees, it had its share of inconveniences. It was made up of eight elves and they could never fit through doorways since most doorways were designed to accommodate only three elves at a time.

The Elves Committee put its elbows up on a table. They delegated one of their members of go purchase the food. The elf who got the job was Perdro, who was a male elf. Perdro went to the counter. "Could I have one poppyseed bagel and eight coffees, please," he piped up to the stunningly lovely donut shop employee. She had a massive frizz of elegantly coiffed chestnut hair, cascading past her shoulders without so much as a second glance, which covered her back and stopped at her butt so if you were behind her (and she were naked) you could not see her back but you could see her butt. But she was not naked, yet still you could not see her back. However, since she was standing and wearing clothes and looking at the elf, the elf could definitely not see her butt.

"Did you said poppyseed?" questioned this radiant vision of beauty.

"Yes." That member of the Elves Committee was in love.

That's when it happened... the Perfect Storm!!!!!! It struck with a blinding fury that was so fast that no one saw it coming. If anyone had seen it coming than it wouldn't have been the perfect storm. And, the sky was suddenly pitch black. If it was not pitch black, it would not be the perfect storm. And, winds exceeded measurable speeds. If the speed oculd be measured, then it would be possible to add 1 MPH to the velocity, and THAT would be the perfect storm, but since it was immeasurable that was definitely the perfect storm.

And finally, there. Were. No. Survivors.

If there were any, it would not be the Perfect Storm.

Except the Elf Committee and the donut shop worker survived, but the panhandler was killed.

The End