The Many Conflicts of Perdro the Elf and the Elves Committee
Chapter 1: Elves vs. the Supernatural
"Ghosts" said Perdro.
"Ghosts" said Dead Lisa.
Dead Lisa was a worker at a local coffee and donut establishment called "Java Lotta Donuts" that was doing rather poorly, businesswise. She had a waiflike beauty which was quite exemplary. If she had lived in the times of the Romans, her face would have launched about a hundred thousand ships, but since she didn't, hers was the face that sold a thousand poppy seed bagels to her admirer Perdro.
"I don't believe it" scoffed Perdro.
"I'm telling you" said Dead Lisa, "my aunt's house has ghosts in it."
"I'll believe it when I see it" snorted Perdro.
"You would never have the nerve to stay there overnight" said the Elves Committee which was seated nearby and didn't agree on much but agreed on the fact that Perdro would never have the nerve to stay there overnight.
"Perdro would too! He's brave and bold" argued Dead Lisa.
Perdro felt his heart was all aglow. Could Dead Lisa like him, in a romantic sense?
"Then I will pack my bag" Perdro said dramatically. "And stay there overnight"
Dead Lisa's beauty was mixed with a certain look at Perdro that looked like she liked him. Or was it his imagination, like the time he thought he saw a frost pattern on the window that looked like a bunch of dolphins reading a book to a nun?
No, it was definitely that she liked him.
Unless he was just being silly.
But later, Perdro was there and the house was creepy, but only in a very well-lit I-hope-I-don't-grow-up-to-have-this-many-knick-knacks-and-use-this-much-potpourri sense.
Perdro decided to sleep in the main bed in the main room. But first he thought he'd watch a little TV.
The house had a TV in the family room, which was not far from the kitchen, so Perdro got some peanuts and some beer and started making grilled cheeses.
Then the door opened with a creaking sound! It was Dead Lisa's aunt and uncle!
"What are you doing here?" they demanded.
"Checking for ghosts" he said.
"Well, you got peanut shells everywhere. What's this you are watching, Cinemax?"
"Skinemax" giggled the uncle.
On the screen was an actress who was not very good. She had just been scared by ghosts (which resounded with Perdro's own experiences so closely that it was eerie) and now she was taking a shower to relieve the pressure of being scared by ghosts.
"No, it's Showtime" said Perdro.
"Ho-time" giggled the uncle.
"Well, get out!" said the aunt! And then they both vanished...
and suddenly Perdro looked around and the house was all old and dusty and there were some pictures and Perdro looked at them and there was a picture ofd the aunt and uncle and it was dated 1886!
"That was a close shave" puffed Perdro.
But he had survived.