Johnny Woonsocket was doing his taxes when he noticed something. "There's a bug crawling up my leg," he mused. "It must be difficult to be a bug. After all, I'm much bigger than a bug. And I have to do my taxes. Whereas a bug can hardly move that big pencil." His soliloquy was cut short, so he went to the kitchen. He got himself a beer and a pimento sandwich.        Just then the telephone rang. He picked it up. It was his good friend Miles Standish. He wanted to play baseball, but Johnny said he couldn't because he had to do his taxes. "Some excuse," snorted Miles. "It's April 15. Taxes aren't due for another three months."        "No, they're due today," said Johnny Woonsocket.        There was a pause and the line went dead. Johnny was lonely, but at least he had his itemized receipts.