The Peace Coat

Why is my coat the best coat? The answer is simple: it's made of peace. It's a peace coat, a coat of peace. Wouldn't everyone like to have a peace coat? The answer is unexpected yet enlightening: no. Warmongers would not like to have a coat of peace. They would want nothing to do with a peace coat, since its peaceful ways might defeat their warlike ways. On the other hand, the warlike ways might prevail; it all depends on the relative strength and weakness of the warlike ways of the mongers and the peaceful power of the coat. Still, one fact is certain; even if the peacefulness of the peace coat didn't defeat the bellicosity of the warmongers, its influence would be sure to weaken the warlike power of the warmongers.

I am not the only one, of course, with a fabulous coat. What about Charlie Moog (pronounced to rhyme with "rogue") who has a coat of resourcefulness? There is never an end of Charlie's ideas: whether he is putting on a play in the nursing home, or using the acidity of lemons to power the first fruit-powered flashlight, or earning money by placing one-line advertisements in newspapers all across America, or working on his helicopter, or trying to teach the cat how to answer the door, Charlie always has a project. Sometimes it's a good project; I say this merely on speculation; but all of the time, it's a bad project.

So you see, the coats are a mixed blessing. Sure, they keep you warm in the winter; sure, they keep you cold in the summer; and sure, their mystic powers are always dandy; but sometimes, they can be a handful.

Who was the inventor of coats? Who can tell? I can not tell, it is not within my capability. But whoever that woman (or man) was, the coat inventor I mean, I hope they knew what they were doing. Because, frankly, I'm frightened by the coats. And I'm not the only one. I know several of my friends who feel the same way.