What? Eskimo had an island? Her backstory just gets weirder. I do like the little Robinson Crusoe/Luke Skywalker outfit she wore when she was fifteen, though. I hope it’s made of goatskin.

Title: Because Eskimo and Jeanne are both cute, and this is how they met! Plus it will be an adorable story to tell the grandchildren if they ever get married (NOTE: THAT IS NOT CURRENTLY THE AUTHORIAL PLAN. Unlesssss….)

ESKIMO: I don’t think these hospital people appreciate that we’re on a schedule, here.
KRYS: If only we’d gone to one of the many one-hour blood transfusion booths that exist. Alack, alas.
ESKIMO: Jeanne isn’t going to wait forever!
LANCE: Jeanne?
ESKIMO: Jeanne Darkskies. The other cute pirate. Our paths have crossed before. It was last year. I was returning to my island after a brief absence.
FLASHBACK ESKIMO: Hey! This is my island!
FLASHBACK JEANNE: Not anymore! I claim this île in the name of mother France. Get your own corner, anglo dog!
FLASHBACK ESKIMO: What is that ridiculous accent–Boston?
FLASHBACK JEANNE: FERMEZ LA BOUCHE, RETARD!