Title: okay, this one took me awhile. It’s because Lance, having misjudged the genre he’s in, is doing a romantic-comedy-style declaration-of-love speech like the one in You’ve Got Mail.

CHARLIE (poking his head out from below deck, surrounded by suds): Um, captain? Laundry emergency.
JEANNE: Oh, for… Peg, handle the execution, will you?
PEG: That’s my job.
Peg finishes transferring Eskimo, Lance, and Peg from around the mast to a tied-together bundle on the plank.
LANCE: Peg–you don’t have to do this!
PEG: Yeah… but I’m going to.
LANCE: It’s me you want–spare the others!
PEG: Ha! God, you men are all alike. Honestly, babe, you’re mostly collateral damage.
LANCE: But Peg, I–I love your smile and the way you laugh, and also you have eyes. Also, other attributes. I love that deep down we’re both the same–like how we both like pizza. And me. I love the cute way you carry a bastard sword, and how you tie impossible secure knots. And I know you’re evil and I know you’re old, but dammit–I love you, Peggy Rastinan!
PEG: …Your point?
LANCE: Do you want to make out with me before you kill me?
KRYS: Do you want to not?