Extinct Beverage Tasting:
Jeff's Berry Dream Soda
Walking into Paul's house that day, I hardly expected anything out of the ordinary. Maybe we'd watch a lousy movie. Maybe we'd watch Tech TV. Maybe we'd just sit around and talk about how we wished we were computer hackers in the early to mid eighties. The usual stuff.
What I saw on Paul's counter shocked me. Two bottles of Jeff's Berry Dream Soda. People began coming out of the woodwork. Laura, Caolan, Nick and assorted other unfortunate fools happened to be around. With great speed Paul broke out the tasting goblets and we poured away. 9.5 ounces of drink between seven people. We thought that that would be cutting it close. We never could have guessed how much we'd have left over.
The benefit of having many people is that you get to hear many different views on the quality of the drink. Our views didn't really conflict that much. Our reviews basically acted just like a thesaurus entry for the word "gross'.
Jeff does a poor job of advertising the website for this drink. I find it humorous that their email address is email@example.com. I'm also amused that they don't mention their own website, getcreamed.com, let alone have an email address on it.
If you haven't seen their website, getcreamed.com, I suggest you visit it. You know those websites that say "Last Updated on March 6, 1998" on the bottom? You know how you always think, "Boy. Web design has sure come a long way. This site looks awful!" ? Well imagine that date reading "March 6, 1996" instead and you'll have a clear concept of the level of design you are about to witness.
I'm going to try avoiding the easy line: "More like Jeff's Berry NIGHTMARE!" but it's going to be hard.
Contrary to what intuitive thinking may lead you to believe, Jeff is not involved with the making of this beverage. So you may be wondering who could bring you such a beverage? Wonder no more! It's the two gentlemen below in the poorly drawn frames!
And now on to the tasting...