So I finally moved out of my parents' attic and got my own apartment. It may not be the best apartment but at least it's mine. Well, it's mine and my roommate's. Well, at least we rent it. Here are some of my favorite things about my new apartment.
The Bathroom Curtain
Not the shower curtain but rather there is a curtain separating the bathroom from the rest of the apartment. That was really weird at first, but I got used to it. In the summertime when the windows are open if the wind catches the curtain just right (or at all) then the apartment gets a front row seat to me taking a pee. This brings new meaning to the phrase "Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain..." But begs to have this line added: "...because it's kinda gross."
My Duck Wallpaper
Not much to say about it. My bedroom has wallpaper that is some ducks quacking along to perimeter of the room.
My Secret Door
My apartment is a lot the like the house that Webster lived in. There's a secret hatch in the floor of my bedroom under the carpet that leads into a dark staircase that ends up being in the bedroom of the apartment downstairs from me. This would be a real cool way to startle the people downstairs of from me if the people downstairs from me weren't my cousin who showed me the secret passage in the first place.
I don't usually see him. He's working third shift right now so I usually only see him first thing in the morning when I wake up and he's sitting behind his computer playing EverQuest then he goes to sleep. I usually see him again for 20 minutes before he goes to work.
My Roommate's 50" TV
I usually see him a lot. It's obscenely large and probably visible from space like the Great Wall of China. It's really weird watching TV on it because most of the people are a little bigger than life size. It's useful to play my Nintendo games on because Link is the size of a small Watermelon.
The Backwards Clock
I hate the backwards clock. It turns something as easy as telling the time into a daily struggle. It runs counter-clockwise (keep in mind that it is a clock) and the numbers are backwards. I suppose I will get used to it, but it's hard when the VCR clock is right under it.
Dog and His Dog
There's a guy that lives across the street from me. His name is Dog. I know this because the guy that lived here before told me. I didn't have any problems with Dog at fist. It's Dog's dog that I developed a problem with. And now I have a problem with Dog as well. Dog's dog will not stop barking... ever... for any reason! Morning, noon and night his dog barks and barks and barks and barks and barks without any sort of pause. Dog's dog doesn't even pause to take a breath. It makes me question how a dog's larynx could possibly withstand such a strenuous lifestyle. This morning Dog's dog seemed to find a friend. They chatted for a really long time, really loudly at 7:00 in the freakin' morning.
The Wall of Beer
The wall of beer is just about as cool as it sounds. It's literally a wall of beer. Every beer bottle you can imagine has been immortalized on one wall of the apartment. It's the wall right next to my computer so I get a lot of time to think about it. Sometimes I worry about what would happen if the wall of beer were to fall on me. I would definitely die but it would probably kill me very quickly so there probably wouldn't be a lot of pain.
The Bathtub From 1911
The bathtub is incredibly old. It must weight at least 6 tons and has incredibly high sides. I practically have to pull my knee up to my chest just to get my first leg into it. The first week I lived here I whacked my shin every time I got in the shower. It's cool thought because if you sit down in it you can pretend you're in a submarine. Not that I ever have!
We are about 100 feet from a Middle School and during the day when I generally work on this website I am entertained by such timeless classics as Mary had a Little Lamb and Mary had a Little Lamb.