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Mother Nature's Fury

ChewieYesterday it snowed. I know this because they were talking about it for days ahead of time. "Winter weather advisory is in affect!" "Blizzard!" "Greatest snowfall in 5 years!" "Nor'easter!"

At the supermarkets the bread shelves were bare and there was no milk to be found. Everyone was just a shade less prepared than they'd be for nuclear fallout. Generally in Rhode Island a snowstorm will keep people in their houses for 7-12 weeks, forcing them to ration food carefully sometimes leaving the elderly and weak to fend for themselves.

I remember one snowstorm when I was just 6 where my parents hadn't figured right on the food. They were squeezing out the contents of a tube of Colgate for sustenance. I asked if I could have something to eat. They quickly wrapped me up in rags and tossed me out into the cold. I had to kill a groundhog and eat its flesh raw off the bone. As the snow started to melt and I eventually carried my frostbitten body home I was greeted by my parents with open arms. On that day, I beccame a man.

Yesterday's storm was a "whopper" to say the least. Southeast New England certainly experienced what could be called a blizzard. 15 MPH winds whipped at my house for eight hours, relenting only for seconds. It took almost ten minutes to heat up my car!

Apparently the weather stations hadn't planned on such a pummeling either. Their fancy hi-tech weather equipment must have received frost damage or something becuase as I watched as the weather man actually went outside and measured the snowfall by sticking a ruler into the snow outside. It wasn't even a one foot ruler, rather one of those little green six inch rulers like you had in second grade. "Four and a half inches," it read.


Not even four hours after the snowstorm the news stations were all claiming their victory. The bragging rights that they'd so justly earned. "News channel 10: the most acurate coverage. Keeping you informed. Keeping you safe." "ABC 6: The first to report. The first to inform. The first to help you." "CBS 12: Undeniably there. Undeniably good."

There's nothing quite like bragging about doing your job. The only thing better than that is lying about it on a huge scale. Do they think we don't remember 10 hours ago when they were calling it a "blizzard?" Do they think we don't remember how they said it would be 15 inches? Do they think we don't remember how it was going to last for 24 hours?

I'm just glad that I survived this whole ordeal. Hopefully by the time I dig myself out of my house I'll be able to view the world as I left it and not too much will have been destroyed by the unbiased wrath of Mother Nature.

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