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Am I the Only One Who Thought the Last Scene of Batman Begins Was Kind of Slashy?

Now, I might be wrong here, because I have kind of a hyperactive gaydar. Like my cute-guy-dar, which goes off even on not-so-cute guys with vague resemblances to other guys I find cute, it probably needs toning down. (The difference between the two 'dars being, of course... well, actually, um, there is no noticeable difference.)

So, my gaydar is overactive, which means in real life, I think everyone is gay, or has a crush on me, or, strangely when it's guys, both; and in movies or TV, I think everyone is gay and in love with their friend. So, I guess I'm a prime audience for slash fiction, which I've talked about before.

I'm a little surprised, though, because if I was going to guess that my slash-meter would go off for any pair in Batman Begins, I would have predicted that pair would include Dr. Crane, played by Cillian Murphy AKA my ideal of beauty. But, I don't think he actually had any scenes with any other actors in the whole movie. But again, I can't be sure. I have this condition where I go into a blind rage whenever the camera leaves his face. As far as I know, Crane only interacted with abstract fields of red for the whole movie.

Look how cute Cillian Murphy is in this movie!!

(While I'm on the subject, here is some fan fiction I did about what would happen if I dated Dr. Crane! I think it would go a little something... like this:

Crane: Scarecrow... scarecrow!

Me: Yeah, I know, scarecrow! So, Jonathan, you know that, now that you're basically permanently crazy from (PREDICTABLE SPOILER!) getting gassed by your own poison, there's no reason for you to wear that hideous mask anymore.

(I try to take it away, there is a scuffle)

Me: Okay, okay, leave it on, leave it on. You know what? It's a part of you, and I love that.

Crane: Scarecrow... scarecrow! Me: Okay. Now, the second thing I wanted to talk to you about is, I know there's not supposed to be any more of that crazy-making gas, and all, but I'm just wondering if you know why I keep seeing the things I fear most materializing behind you? I mean, it could be a coincidence that everywhere we go we're followed by a report card with a "B", an actual bee, and a phone call I have to make, but...

Crane: Scarecrow... scarecrow!

Me: ...Right. Yeah, honey. Scarecrow. Great.

Um, but anyway.)

But the final scene of the movie, the one I find slashy, doesn't involve Dr. Crane, who's infuriatingly absent for the last twenty minutes at least of the film, at all, but instead takes place between Batman and Commissioner Gordon. In case you don't remember it, here's how it goes:

Commissioner Gordon: I never thanked you.

Batman: You'll never have to.

Gordon: You had me at "Don't turn around. You're a good cop; one of the few."

Batman: I don't like crazy-making poison. It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere. Not like here. Here everything is soft... and smooth.

Gordon: The problems of three little people don't amount to a hill of bats in this crazy world.

Batman: I like how it takes you an hour and a half to order a felafel.

Gordon: I like to start my notes to you as if we're already in the middle of a conversation. I pretend that we're the oldest and dearest friends- as opposed to what we actually are- people who don't know each other's names and met in a chat room, or rather, in my office when you put a stapler to my head and pretended it was a gun. What will the Batman say today, I wonder. I turn on my computer, I wait impatiently as it boots up. I go online, and my breath catches in my chest until I hear three little words: You've got mail. I hear nothing, not even a sound on the streets of Gotham, just the beat of my own heart. I have mail. From you.

Batman: Now, you listen to me! I don't want any Kevlar, and I don't want any subterranean caverns, and I don't want to get married, ever, to anyone! You understand that? I want to do what I want to do. And you're--and you're--

(After they break down weeping in each other's arms, Batman holds up a boom box playing "In Your Eyes." Then Commissioner Gordon makes a clay pot on a wheel, and Batman puts his hands over Commissioner Gordon's hands.)

Batman: Commissioner, fetch me that batarang.

Gordon: As you wish.

(Batman sweeps off into the night. The commissioner smiles to himself. Music swells. Credits.)

I'm just saying, it seemed a little gay. But that's probably just me.


- Laura