Contact Laura

I encourage you to email me if something I wrote has inspired you. Compliments and irate arguments are traditional. I occasionally print email I receive in reference to something on the site, so be forewarned that this may occur. If you wish to engage me in debate, or to insult my character in some way, be warned that I may use this public forum to argue with you before witnesses instead of responding directly like a real man. I may also resort to straw man arguments based solely on your typos and grammar mistakes.

Also be prepared for nothing to happen. I am extremely lazy, and it's not unusual for me to let ten or twenty emails go unanswered. I don't get so much mail that this is excusable, and I'm trying to curb it, but it is definite danger, particularly if you write in reference to Pirates vs. Ninjas or Lizzie McGuire. That's not to say I don't appreciate your input on those topics; I just get a fair amount of it. The upside of this is that at least you know that if you DO get a response to your mail, it will be a personal response. I don't have a massively efficient form letter system. I probably should, but I don't.

Before you email me, please be aware of the following.

I am not any of the following people:

• Lizzie McGuire
• Hilary Duff
• Shawn from Boy Meets World

Nor do I possess phone numbers or contact information for any of those people.

I do not have videos of Adventures in Wonderland episodes. I don't know where to get said items. Same goes for Boy Meets World (though I wish I did!). That's not to say you shouldn't talk to me about these subjects, but please know that if it's videos or information you're after, I'm not the person you want to ask. I don't do any research for my articles.

And yeah, I know Songs About Rainbows is a children's song. I was trying to make a joke. Same goes for The Tale of Mr. Morton.

Okay, okay. Let me at the addy, yo! Word.

Clickity-click to send a missive to laura, who can be found at lance and eskimo dot com. Before you hit "send," remove the humorous all-caps PSYCH from the address line. I've decided that it's "in" to try to fool spambots in this overly complex manner. This also screens potential mailers for extreme laziness.