Laura's Articles

5-21-09 NHL Playoff Commercial Review (Rounds 1 & 2): Chefelf reflects on the most recent NHL Playoff commercials. (Chefelf)
4-26-09 Bea Arthur: Goodnight, but not Goodbye : In honor of Bea Arthur (May 13, 1922 – April 25, 2009). (Chefelf)
3-31-09 Why I Hate People That Self-Identify as Nerds or Geeks: Chefelf doesn't like it when people think they're all awesome and unique because they do the same thing as millions of other people. (Chefelf)
3-30-09 Soon-to-be Extinct Candy: Twilight Conversation Hearts: Two things Laura, as a girl, loves, include Twilight and candy hearts. Thankfully, the universe has combined them in one convenient, disgusting package. (Laura)
1-28-09 Is Rock Band Too Family Friendly?: Laura found these lies about the game Rock Band on her work computer. Either she wrote it last summer, or elves have been sneaking onto her account. The former is more likely, since she's obsessed with Rock Band. She sings on Expert! (Laura)
1-26-09 Life on Mars Towed My Car: Chefelf wakes up to discover that a crummy TV show remake of a BBC show has ordered his car towed with no notice. Can they do that? Apparently they can. (Chefelf)
1-21-09 Barack Obama Will Not Look Like This: A controversial article where Chefelf posits that perhaps Barack Obama will age relatively normally over the next four years. (Chefelf)
12-1-08 Lucille: Chefelf remembers the woman that influenced his gaming life more than any other single person. (Chefelf)
11-14-08 Remembering The Box Set: Chefelf thinks it's funny to think about CD box sets. (Chefelf)
10-21-08 Some Things I'm Sick Of: Chefelf has had it with a few of these things. (Chefelf)
9-22-08 Why I Hate iTunes: A rambling manifesto on why Chefelf hates iTunes. (Chefelf)
7-20-08 Tour de France Commercial Recap, Week 2: As the second week of the Tour de France ends, Chefelf reflects on the grueling efforts of the bike riders through one of the most physically challenging sporting events in the history of the world on the cruddy commercials they play on the Versus channel. (Chefelf)
7-11-08 Tour de France Recap, Week 1: Chefelf reflects on the first week of the Tour de France. Well, not so much about the race as about the commentators he hates and all of the commercials that he is tired of. (Chefelf)
7-2-08 Castles, The Princes That Fought (Chapter 15): After nearly three years the Princes that Fought return to fight! For those of you that are ill (read: Paul) this is like chicken soup for your imagination! (Chefelf)
6-27-08 Screw My Kids! I Want To Spend Time With My Kids!: Dixie takes an interesting approach in advertising by appealing to everyone's laziness and saying, "To hell with the environment! I'd rather enjoy being lazy!" (Chefelf)
5-21-08 The Subway Is Not Your Office!: Yet terrible artists, knitters and business men seem to think it is. (Chefelf)
5-12-08 The Juno Emarrassment: Chefelf may be the last person on Earth to see Juno. That is when he eventually sees it. (Chefelf)
5-2-08 2 Bangs, 1 Buck and a Jack (or, Why I Hate That Guy In My Dream): A guy in my dream uses slang that I've never heard to describe amounts of money. Also, in my dream I am not able to do math. And that guy is a jerk! (Chefelf)
4-9-08 Hot Fun in the Early Spring: In this second (!!) article of 2008, Laura provides handy if untimely hints for keeping cool. Warning: Contains an erroneous explanation of the current U.S. credit crisis. (Laura)
4-5-08 Laura's Crush List III: In honor of the Lance and Eskimo Comix anniversary, how about an article?! (Laura)
4-4-08 F That A Train!: Chefelf observes a guy trying to use the powers of his middle finger to destroy an entire train. (Chefelf)
3-11-08 You Suck at Sudoku: Chefelf encounters the world's worst Sudoku player. (Chefelf)
2-21-08 18 Hours in a New York City Hospital: If Chefelf am going to spend much more time in the hospital it may be time for him to move out of New York. Chefelf hopes that the saying about what doesn't kill you makes you stronger is true. If it is he's going to become a superhero. (Chefelf)
2-4-08 Good News! I Didn't Die!: Bad news: I got even sicker! Good news: I lived! (Chefelf)
1-31-08 Maxis Games & The Flu: Chefelf gets really sick and plays SimCity, reminding him of a time he was really sick and he played The Sims. Maybe there is something in Will Wright's code that Chefelf is allergic to. (Chefelf)
11-29-07 Why I Don't Want an Amazon Kindle For Christmas: Chefelf takes a look at Amazon's new e-book reader, the one gadget that certainly won't make it onto his Christmas list this year. (Chefelf)
9-28-07 LittleHorse: Strangers in the Valley: LittleHorse's new album is out and it features one two three songs about Sherlock Holmes! Does it get any better than that? (Chefelf)
9-24-07 The Excuse Falls Flat: Chefelf takes a look at The View's Sherri Shepherd, her feelings on the Earth being flat, and a phenomenally poor display of back-pedaling. (Chefelf)
9-12-07 My iPhone: Chefelf just got an iPhone. He's so happy about it that he actually had to adjust the forum databalse settings a chefelf.com to increase the maximum allowable filesize in kilobytes for a text entry. (Chefelf)
9-3-07 Extinct Beverage: Hillside Coffee - Self Heating Container: Chefelf returns to his Extinct Beverage Museum to review what is possibly the most dangerous beverage he has ever consumed. It is arguably Chefelf's most daring -- and certainly his most comprehensive -- beverage review ever! (Note: It features video where Chefelf sounds a lot more like Ira Glass than he intended.) (Chefelf)
8-27-07 My Childhood Is Better Than Your Childhood: Chefelf explores the difference in childhood entertainment over the past 30 years. Features some pretty awesome clips from Sesame Street and some not so awesome clips from another less cool children's show. (Chefelf)
8-23-07 Giant Godzilla Stripper: Chefelf reviews a commercial where a giant Godzilla-sized stripper wreaks havot on a tiny uninhabited CGI city. (Chefelf)
8-20-07 Gallagher's 2000 Strip Club Commercial: The first in a series or reviews of strip club commercials. This one features space aliens in need of a lap dance. (Chefelf)
8-14-07 Daisy May's BBQ USA Commercial: Chefelf takes a look at the commercial for Daisy May's BBQ USA, a New York City BBQ restaurant. Spoiler: It's rather incredible. (Chefelf)
7-11-07 Born From Jets: An Open Letter to Saab: Chefelf takes a look at Saab's 'Born From Jets' advertising campaign and wonders if this is something they should be bragging about. (Chefelf)
5-24-07 The Played Out List: Episode 1: BOM-Chicka BOW-WOW!: The first chapter in an unspecified number of chapters on things that have been well overdone. (Chefelf)
5-16-07 Death of a Coffee Cup: Chefelf explores what happens when his favorite coffee mug breaks and he has to find a new one. No one should have to deal with such misfortune. (Chefelf)
5-14-07 Laura Notes: Stalking Darkness: I've updated the Laura Notes page with incredibly detailed chapter summaries and increasingly phoned-in analysis of Stalking Darkness, sequel to Luck in the Shadows, which, forty days and nights later, perhaps you have finished reading! Enjoy please! (Laura)
5-10-07 Spider-Man 3: Chefelf takes a poorly-edited look at how Spider-Man 3 deviated from the story as it was originally told in the comics. (Chefelf)
5-2-07 Old Notes Which, I'm Going to Have to Face It, Will Never Turn Into Full-Scale Updates: Continuing with the whole "spring cleaning" theme. (Laura)
4-25-07 Emma IM: Jane Austen in sixty seconds! (Laura)
4-18-07 Classic IM Profiles of Ages Past: Further cleaning out of old files. (Laura)
4-13-07 Lance and Eskimo: The Webcomic: WHOA! FINALLY, a Lance and Eskimo Webcomic! I've been updating every day this week, so if you haven't seen it yet, pop by for 5 delightful one-page comics. Next week: Another full week of comics! Bookmark or RSS for further updates! (Laura)
4-11-07 That Moment of, "Oh.": Laura describes one of the perils of her self-appointed task of Cultual Homosexuality Lookout. (It's like bikini inspector, but instead of bikinis, you have boys who make eyes at each other.) (Laura)
4-4-07 Laura Notes: Luck in the Shadows: If you enjoy Laura's opinionated synopses of Boy Meets World and The Sentinel, you may enjoy this lengthy faux-academic book analysis she spent way too much time on after a week reading the strange combination of SparkNotes and pulp fantasy. At least, for awhile. Then it will get old. (Laura)
3-28-07 Crush List II: Not a replacement but an extension of last summer's list, detailing those men I've come to love since. Virtue! Sorrow! Fashion! (Laura)
3-21-07 Top Seven Annoying Retail Songs of 2004: While going through some old files I found this scrap that I'd written in 2004 featuring the Gwen Stefani non-hit, "Bathwater." The release of Gwen Stefani's new album, The Sweet Escape made me think that this would be perfect timing to discuss a song that's seven years old! Topical. (Laura)
2-19-07 The Shit Is Bananas: While going through some old files I found this scrap that I'd written in 2004 about the Gwen Stefani hit, "Hollaback Girl." The release of Gwen Stefani's new album, The Sweet Escape made me think that this would be perfect timing to discuss a song that's two and a half years old! Topical.

Warning: If you are sensitive to use of the word shit then please don't read this article.

Double Warning: Also, if you are sensitive to use of the word shit don't read the title of this article or either of the two warning messages. (Chefelf)
1-5-07 Lance and Eskimo in the Kitty House: On an archaeological dig, Laura found this unpublished Lance and Eskimo manuscript from April 2003. Other things she found while cleaning include this picture of Fashion Emergency cast with Batman villains (July 1999) and the ORIGINAL Johnny Woonsocket texts (date unknown, but judging from their level of decay, they are at least one thousand years old). (Laura)
11-23-06 The Inconsistently Detailed Episode Guide for The Sentinel, Season 1: If you like The Inconsistently Detailed Boy Meets World Episode Guide, you'll be THANKFUL (see what I did there?) for this collection of ten alternately detailed and hazy episode recaps of a charming mid-90s supernatural/cop/crap show. (Laura)
9-7-06 Bob Dylan Can Go To Hell: A look at Bob Dylan's comments on the state of modern music and how he's better than everyone and everything that's ever existed. (Chefelf)
9-6-06 Back to School Special: Linguistics Study Guide: Laura and classmate/co-conspirator Anna wax foolish about what is in fact their senior project. (Laura & Anna)
9-4-06 Extinct Beverage: Coca-Cola Blāk: With the summer coming to a close it's time to start the 2006 Summer Extinct Beverage Round Up! There are a few choice beverages that came out this summer that are certain to be headed for the halls of extinction! Chefelf has tried them all and now he begins to pretend that he'll actually review them all. (Chefelf)
8-30-06 Lance and Eskimo and the Return of the Style Bullies: Because nothing says "comeback" like ripping yourself off! (Laura)
8-23-06 Makeover Shows: A Comparative Review: Because you don't want to waste your time on just any makeover show. (Bonus: the preceding statement is also true if you remove the word "just"!) (Laura)
8-16-06 Rejected Opening Monologues for The Waltons: Slash content: 4-5% A NEW LOW! (Laura)
8-9-06 Am I the Only One Who Thought the Last Scene of Batman Begins Was Kind of Slashy?: We should probably just change the name of Laura's Journal to "Laura's Weekly Slash Blog." (Laura)
8-2-06 The "Guess the Most Popular Slash Pairing" Game: Do you have your finger on the pulse of fandom? Are you sure you want to? Research and programming assistance by Anna and Paul, respectively. (Laura)
7-26-06 Laura Reviews: Psych: Another TV review from Laura, this one of a relatively new show: USA's Psych! (Laura)
7-19-06 Laura's New and Improved Crush List: Another thing Laura has been doing a lot of lately is harping on and on about how much she loves... well, you'll see. Laura's attempt to capitalize on boy-craziness = fun for YOU! (Laura)
7-12-06 Laura's Ode to Stargate: Atlantis: Laura has been bothering everyone by writing bits and pieces about her love for this Sci-Fi original TV show on various private blogs, journals, online chats, and in-person conversations; so in order to get her precious thoughts out to a wider audience she has written the first L&E article in, like, ninety years. Enjoy it. (Laura)
3-13-06 Extinct Beverage: Metromint: Lance & Eskimo returns triumphantly from its 4 1/2 month Christmas break with a fresh new article! A beverage review? By Chefelf? It's like 2001 all over again with less Kubrick and more mint taste. (Chefelf)
10-19-05 Daytime Ads: After a(nother) five-month hiatus, Laura briefly comes out of retirement to bring you a(nother) article complaining about the commercials on TV. (Laura)
9-26-05 Castles, The Princes That Fought (Chapter 14): The Princes' Plan Princes unite against the great dragon, Ilkspeake. (Chefelf)
9-19-05 Castles, The Princes That Fought (Chapter 13): The Battle At long last the battle between Green and Brown begins in earnest. (Chefelf)
9-12-05 Castles, The Princes That Fought (Chapter 12): The Great Fire Millipede A mysterious magical creature advances on Prince Brown and his men. (Chefelf)
9-5-05 Castles, The Princes That Fought (Chapter 11): The Armies Meet At last the armies of Prince Brown and Prince Green are united... IN BATTLE! (Chefelf)
8-29-05 Castles, The Princes That Fought (Chapter 10): Castles, The Princes That Fought (Chapter 10) (Chefelf)
8-22-05 Castles, The Princes That Fought (Chapter 9): Prince Green and the nymph-elf Tracy on the trail of Shocker the Wizard! (Chefelf)
8-15-05 Castles, The Princes That Fought (Chapter 8): Don't believe in fairy tales. The approach on Mount Tarkoon. (Chefelf)
8-8-05 The Prophecies of Nicetradamus (pt. 1): Excerpts from the oft overlooked prophecies of Nostradamus's younger cousin, Nicetradamus. (Chefelf)
8-1-05 91 Reasons to Hate Star Wars: Episode III: Revenge of the Sith (pt. 9): Reasons 81-92 to hate Revenge of the Sith. Due to a clerical error there are actually 92 reasons! In this stunning conclusion you will see Asthmatic Cyborgs, Princess Leia, Moff Tarkin and much, much more! This is the final Reasons to Hate article ever! Until Lucas breaks his promise and makes some more Star Wars crap for us all to hate. (Chefelf)
7-25-05 91 Reasons to Hate Star Wars: Episode III: Revenge of the Sith (pt. 8): Reasons 71-80 to hate Revenge of the Sith. Yoda's in exile, the properties of lava, the higher ground, and crappy CGI babies! (Chefelf)
7-18-05 91 Reasons to Hate Star Wars: Episode III: Revenge of the Sith (pt. 7): Reasons 61-70 to hate Revenge of the Sith. The wonderful Volcano planet Mustafar, the death of liberty and Obi-Wan and Yoda's terrible plan. (Chefelf)
7-11-05 91 Reasons to Hate Star Wars: Episode III: Revenge of the Sith (pt. 6): Reasons 51-60 to hate Revenge of the Sith. It's the moment you've all been waiting for... the moment where all the Jedi finally die! And what a hunt it is! (Chefelf)
7-4-05 91 Reasons to Hate Star Wars: Episode III: Revenge of the Sith (pt. 5): Reasons 41-50 to hate Revenge of the Sith. Laugh as Obi-Wan rides a silly lizard creature! Cry as Anakin succumbs to the dark side! Vomit as Palpatine whines like an injured puppy! Tolerate it as the origins of the Emperor's terrible complexion are revealed! (Chefelf)
6-27-05 91 Reasons to Hate Star Wars: Episode III: Revenge of the Sith (pt. 4) : Reasons 31-40 to hate Revenge of the Sith. The Jedi being morons! Operas perfomed by water! Tragedy! The return of the midi-chlorians! And much, much more! (Chefelf)
6-20-05 91 Reasons to Hate Star Wars: Episode III: Revenge of the Sith (pt. 3): Reasons 21-30 to hate Revenge of the Sith. Romantic dialogue, unusual pregnancy, prophecies and premonisions, the Jedi code and big stupid Wookiees! (Chefelf)
6-13-05 91 Reasons to Hate Star Wars: Episode III: Revenge of the Sith (pt. 2): Reasons 11-20 to hate Revenge of the Sith. Ignorance of basic physics, inappropriate clowning around and mispronouncing your own wife's name! The fun continues! (Chefelf)
6-6-05 91 Reasons to Hate Star Wars: Episode III: Revenge of the Sith (pt. 1): Every hero has a lightsaber. Every saga has an end. Every guy with nothing better to do has a list of reasons to hate Star Wars. The article that took 28 years to write is finally here. (Chefelf)
5-25-05 Why the Baby-Sitters Club Should Have Aged: If one were to make a list of the things boys care about least, the Baby-sitters Club would be pretty high up. Laura knows most of the people who look at this website are boys, but I guess she just doesn't care! (Laura)
5-20-05 The Pathetic Postcard Contest: Laura dissects what's so lame about four postcards from the RI/MA area. (Laura)
5-9-05 The Star Wars Holiday Special (Part 4): Chapters 19-27 in Chefelf's comprehensive scene-by-scene guide to the Star Wars Holiday Special. The Amorphean being, Life on Tatooine, Bea Arthur, Han and Chewie save the day and Princess Leia sings at the Life Day ceremony! (Chefelf)
5-2-05 The Star Wars Holiday Special (Part 3): Chapters 13-18 in Chefelf's comprehensive scene-by-scene guide to the Star Wars Holiday Special. Leia & Threepio, Han & Chewie, kind Imperial officers, The Jefferson Starship, and Boba Fett! (Chefelf)
4-27-05 Laura's Inconsistently Detailed Boy Meets World Episode Guide - Season 4: While you're here, I've got my thoughts on most of the episodes for season 4 of Boy Meets World entered into the database. Still a few missing, but they don't call it inconsistent for nothing! (Laura)
4-25-05 The Star Wars Holiday Special (Part 2): Chapters 7-12 in Chefelf's comprehensive scene-by-scene guide to the Star Wars Holiday Special. Saundan the space trader, Darth Vader, Gormaanda, space battles, Wookiees exchanging presents and Wookiee sex fantasies! (Chefelf)
4-18-05 The Star Wars Holiday Special (Part 1): Chapters 1-6 in Chefelf's comprehensive scene-by-scene guide to the Star Wars Holiday Special. The Milennium Falcon, Luke Skywalker, A hologramtic circus and introducing Chewbacca's family! (Chefelf)
3-23-05 Who's Your Ideal Top Gun Match?: Find out today! (Laura)
3-14-05 Chefelfs Notes: The Cat Who Walks Through Walls: A journal of my thoughts while reading "The Cat Who Walks Through Walls" by Robert A. Heinlein. Voted Lance & Eskimo's Article You Will Most Likely Not Want To Read in 2005 by the National Association of Long Winded & Unnecessary Reviews. (Chefelf)
2-7-05 Reasons to Hate Star Wars: Episode III Teaser!: A special sneak peak at Chefelf's upcoming reasons to hate Star Wars: Episdoe III: The Revenge of the Sith. (Chefelf)
1-31-05 George Lucas 1983 - 2005: A photo essay chronicling the changes in George Lucas's film philosophy over the past 23 years. Note: This is serious stuff. Only read this if you are a serious student of film such as myself. FILM NEWBIES NEED NOT APPLY!! (Chefelf)
1-27-05 Trapped in my Cell: A bitter, unfunny screed about all the problems Laura has encountered in dealing with cellular telephone service. (Laura)
1-24-05 The Many Faces of Alan Greenspan: The man, the myth, the cyborg. (Chefelf)
1-17-05 Reasons to Hate the Star Wars Special Edition DVDs: Episode VI: Return of the Jedi gets the full "Reasons to Hate" treatment in this final installment of The Nitpicker's Guide to Star Wars: The Special Edition DVDs. (Chefelf)
12-29-04 Lance and Eskimo Lose the Refrigerator: You know how when you lose something, you look under the fridge? Well, in this first and last full-page L&E comic of 2004, our two intrepid heroes actually lose the refrigerator. (Laura)
12-24-04 Deck the Halls with Christmas Carol Ratings: Part II: The continuation of Papa Redcloud's Christmas carol assessments. This week: J-Z. (Papa Redcloud)
12-22-04 The Tale of Ginger-Barad-dur: Laura and her roommate submit an unorthodox entry to a gingerbread house building contest. (Laura)
12-17-04 Deck the Halls with Christmas Carol Ratings: Part I: Papa Redcloud turns his formidable having opinions about things talents to a consideration of 52 Christmas Carols, in alphabetical order. This week: A-I! (Papa Redcloud)
12-15-04 Lance and Eskimo Comic Strip: Logic Problem: Another Lance and Eskimo comic strip, this one featuring a joke formulated late at night by Laura and Paul. It kind of shows. (Laura and Laura and Paul)
12-8-04 Lance and Eskimo Comic Strip: Musket: A brand new L&E, this one in comic strip form. Pictures by Laura, based on something Lefty said one time. (Laura and Lefty)
12-1-04 How Christmas Stole Everything: A pleasant and mildly bitter seasonal diatribe. But it's the good kind of bitter. Like cinnamon sticks. (Laura)
11-10-04 Laura Recaps: Orfeo ed Euridice: Part II: Laura continues her description of the goofy opera. (Laura)
11-3-04 Laura Recaps: Orfeo ed Euridice: Laura gets classy so you don't have to be, offering an extremely detailed, slightly disbelieving description of an opera. Don't worry, it was on home video. And from the 70s, I think. I hope. (Laura)
11-1-04 Reasons to Hate the Star Wars Special Edition DVDs: Episode V: The second chapter in the original trilogy is finally on DVD. Was it worth the wait? Of course it wasn't! (Chefelf)
10-18-04 Reasons to Hate Star Wars: Episode IV: A New Hope: The Specialer Edition is out and Chefelf has turned his keen eye on the changes presented in the new DVD release. (Chefelf)
10-6-04 Goofy Couture: Laura's pants designs. Contains unreasonably large cartoon images of ladies' (clothed) butts. You have been warned! (Laura)
9-29-04 How I Spent My Summer Vacation: Almost enough time has passed that Laura's job at the office supply superstore is funny, not tragic. Almost. (Laura)
9-22-04 Art Appreesheeayshun: Laura bitches about her art text. (Laura)
9-8-04 The Inconsistently Detailed Boy Meets World Episode Guide for Season 3!: Laura's first contribution since the summer (spring-summer? winter-spring-summer?) hiatus is a doozy-- summaries, info and opinions on as many episodes of the ABC sitcom Boy Meets World, season 3 (1995-6), as she has seen. Which is most of them. (Laura)
9-1-04 The Prisoner of Spring Rock: Chapter Twenty: "She was not sure what she would say to the man when he arrived, nor had she determined what her judgment would be. That verdict would be finally decided only when she had had the opportunity to read Ashley’s nature by looking deep into his eyes." (Papa Redcloud)
8-25-04 The Prisoner of Spring Rock: Chapter Nineteen: "'We are not married to each other, we don’t need to be. We are not lovers, because—well we are nearly sisters and such a love would be both inappropriate and superfluous. We are Bess and George. Inseparable cousins and friends. That is a bond stronger than all others combined.'" (Papa Redcloud)
8-19-04 The Prisoner of Spring Rock: Chapter Eighteen: "She kicked at the [thug]. When he rolled over, she got a shock. 'I recognize him!' she exclaimed. 'He is one of the gang who enslaved the young people in Carbon City!'" (Papa Redcloud)
8-12-04 The Prisoner of Spring Rock: Chapter Seventeen: "'My waters have broken. I’m afraid that I am going to have the baby right now. I mean, where are the towels?'" (Papa Redcloud)
8-4-04 The Prisoner of Spring Rock: Chapter Sixteen: "'I will be spotted before two days are gone, and all four of us-Hannah, George, Bess, and myself, not two speak of two unborn babies-will be in mortal peril!'" (Papa Redcloud)
7-28-04 The Prisoner of Spring Rock: Chapter Fifteen: "Nancy was completely defenceless. Alone in company with this degenerate individual, there was no telling in what kind of trouble she could find herself. ... He might take the first opportunity to silence her forever!" (Papa Redcloud)
7-21-04 The Prisoner of Spring Rock: Chapter Fourteen: "Nancy knew that Ashley was concealing something from her. She wondered if she should go on in this direction. Her mealtime companion was visibly squirming... But her intuition told her that Natalie was the key to this man’s character—and to his soul." (Papa Redcloud)
7-14-04 The Prisoner of Spring Rock: Chapter Thirteen: Hannah looked around to see if there was anyone lurking in the underbrush before proceeding. "I fear that Nancy might be in some danger tonight. We need to keep her and her shady companion under strict surveillance. With my commando training I will be best prepared to intervene if the need arise." (Papa Redcloud)
7-7-04 The Prisoner of Spring Rock: Chapter Twelve: "Bess realized that she had crossed the room, nimbly avoiding treading on the doctors outstretched body, without any trace of a hobble or any pain whatsoever. She was cured!" (Papa Redcloud)
6-30-04 The Prisoner of Spring Rock: Chapter Eleven: "'And you are both named Bobbie Watson?' asked the doctor.
'Everyone in our family is named Bobbie Watson,' George informed him. 'That makes it easy for us to remember who we are.'" (Papa Redcloud)
6-23-04 The Prisoner of Spring Rock: Chapter Ten: "She looked deep into his eyes, searching for that signal that would allow her to unburden what remained of her soul. What she saw there froze her blood." (Papa Redcloud)
6-16-04 The Prisoner of Spring Rock: Chapter Nine: "'Greetings earthling! Our revered general, Yusuf Olafson, uncle and regal envoy, trusts human entities beyond every sentient terrestrial,' she intoned in her most (Bess) Marvin the Martian-like voice." (Papa Redcloud)
6-11-04 Company X # 027: Hugh Manatee's big joke. (Chefelf)
6-9-04 The Prisoner of Spring Rock: Chapter Eight: "Nancy moved swiftly to the sideboard. This must be Mrs. Watson, concluded the astute under-housemaid. She felt herself strangely smitten by this lady and tempted, much against her conscious will, into the gross impropriety of rushing over to kiss the lady." (Papa Redcloud)
6-4-04 Company X # 026: Hugh Manatee's big party! (Chefelf)
6-2-04 The Prisoner of Spring Rock: Chapter Seven: "There was something not quite right about this maid's life, Nancy thought to herself as she followed the other servant down the hall. She felt as though she might really be intended for some other kind of existence. Only she could not remember it." (Papa Redcloud)
5-26-04 The Prisoner of Spring Rock: Chapter Six: "'The truth we seek is located behind a veil that we must pull aside. For in my estimation the Christines are little more than a cover for a more secular operation. And, unless I miss my guess, that underlying operation is knee deep in crime!'" (Papa Redcloud)
5-19-04 The Prisoner of Spring Rock: Chapter Five: "Bess panicked. 'Mr. Drew, I can't join a cult. I am a deaconess at St. John's church!'" (Papa Redcloud)
5-14-04 Company X # 025: Introducing: Trust Doggie (Chefelf)
5-12-04 Everything I Need to Know I Learned from Deoderant: Laura surfs the wide wide world of advertisement and unexpectedly learns a little about guests, travel, romance, and perhaps--herself? (Laura)
5-10-04 Company X #024: Beware the enemy. (Chefelf)
5-7-04 Company X # 023: Harry's smooth move. (Chefelf)
5-5-04 The Prisoner of Spring Rock: Chapter Four: "Inside in a florid but trembling hand it read 'to charming Bessie, may she number the days of our friendship with gladness, Sam’l Johnson.' He had unwittingly signed over to her her own book!" (Papa Redcloud)
5-3-04 Company X # 022: Some more biscuits! (Chefelf)
4-30-04 Company X # 021: Tech Support. (Chefelf)
4-28-04 The Prisoner of Spring Rock: Chapter Three: "On his left was Rosalyn Carter, then Oscar Wilde. Wilde was a tall, fleshy man of early middle age, who dressed after a fashion that seemed both extravagantly sophisticated and gothically juvenile. Everything about him was pressed and polished to perfection, from his enormous projecting black lapels to his crimson vest. He wore an immaculate lily in his buttonhole, and his whole person smelled like a spring garden at Eastertide." (Papa Redcloud)
4-26-04 Company X # 020: Harry Harmful... foiled? (Chefelf)
4-23-04 Company X # 019: More Harry Harmful. (Chefelf)
4-21-04 The Prisoner of Spring Rock: Chapter Two: "Before another second had elapsed George had it all figured out.
"'Bess! You are the father of my child!'" (Papa Redcloud)
4-19-04 Company X # 018: Introducing Harry Harmful. (Chefelf)
4-16-04 Company X # 017: Tales of Harry Harmful. (Chefelf)
4-14-04 The Prisoner of Spring Rock: Chapter One: Papa Redcloud's second Nancy Drew novel finds our heroines several years older and more experienced. Learn how much has changed as you watch them prepare for a party of Carson Drew's! Gasp as you discover the special guest partygoers! (Papa Redcloud)
4-12-04 Company X # 016: Hugh Manatee's cheese table. (Chefelf)
4-9-04 Company X # 015: Hugh Manatee orders office supplies. (Chefelf)
4-7-04 Insouciance Is My Anti-Drug: Laura presents a rather ill-timed argument that the anti-drug campaigns in grade school are pretty useless. (Laura)
4-5-04 Company X #014: A meeting of two bosses. (Chefelf)
4-2-04 Company X #013: The press conference. (Chefelf)
3-31-04 The Mystery of the High Road Inn: Chapter 20: In the final postlude to the Nancy Drew adventure, George seeks knowledge of her friends' whereabouts following their disappearance. (Papa Redcloud)
3-29-04 Company X #012: The spelling contest. (Chefelf)
3-26-04 Company X #011: The board meeting. (Chefelf)
3-24-04 The Mystery of the High Road Inn: Chapter 19: George picks up the pieces of her life in the aftermath of the adventure. (Papa Redcloud)
3-22-04 Company X #010: Let the lawsuits begin. (Chefelf)
3-19-04 Cowboy Comics Vol. 2: I'm pleased to announce that Brisbane central library has just as many dodgy cowboy novels as any in England! (Yahtzee)
3-17-04 The Mystery of the High Road Inn: Chapter 18: Everything goes from bad to ridiculous as all plans go hideously wrong in this exciting climactic chapter! Don't miss it! (Papa Redcloud)
3-15-04 Company X #008: About a boy ... DOG! (Chefelf)
3-12-04 Company X #007: Introducing Hugh Manatee. (Chefelf)
3-10-04 The Mystery of the High Road Inn: Chapter 17: Nancy is interrogated in a twisted trial of the unlawful! (Papa Redcloud)
3-8-04 Company X #006: The Great Wizard and the Water Cooler. (Chefelf)
3-5-04 Company X #005: Sweater Girl meets "Online", the Company X IT guy. (Chefelf)
3-3-04 The Mystery of the High Road Inn: Chapter 16: Ned Nickerson arrives on the scene! (Papa Redcloud)
3-1-04 Company X #001: "Welcome to Company X" The premier of Chefelf's shockingly unimpressive webcomic. This kicks off a full week of comics! Check Monday through Friday! (Chefelf)
2-25-04 The Mystery of the High Road Inn: Chapter 15: Bess is found, and George dons a new costume, as the three girls continue their daring undercover vigil! (Papa Redcloud)
2-23-04 Castles, The Princes That Fought (Chapter 7): In which the mighty plague on the Nymph-Elvish kingdom is revealed! (Chefelf)
2-20-04 How To Be The Biggest Idiot Alive: Heccubus presents another handy guide to becoming part of what's wrong with the world today. (Heccubus)
2-18-04 The Mystery of the High Road Inn: Chapter 14: The secret of the mysterious drug is finally revealed! (Papa Redcloud)
2-16-04 The Return of Sauron: A conversation that took place sometime in late 2003. (J.M. Hoffman)
2-13-04 Yahtzee's Australia Journal (Chapter 2): Yahtzee continues his adventures throuh the southern hemisphere, the Australian portion at least (Yahtzee)
2-11-04 The Mystery of the High Road Inn: Chapter 13: Having met unexpectedly in the depths of danger, Nancy recounts her thrilling experiences to George! (Papa Redcloud)
2-9-04 Star Wars :Jedi Knight 3: Jedi Academy: A review of the latest Star Wars game. Warning: This is more of a manifesto than a review. As you may be aware, Chefelf doesn't tend to be brief when critiquing Star Wars related material. However, if you intend to play this game you should really prepare yourself with this article. (Chefelf)
2-6-04 Mario: The secret hidden tale of intrigue behind the world's most famous fictional plumber. (Zach)
2-4-04 The Mystery of the High Road Inn: Chapter 12: Deep in the gangster's lair, George meets with an unexpected friendly face... (Papa Redcloud)
2-2-04 The Adventures Of Angular Mike: Welcome to the Internet home of that loveable polygonal pioneer, Angular Mike. Here you will find the chronicles of his amazing adventures through the world of absurdity and MS Paint. (Yahtzee)
2-1-04 "U"'re Gonna Love It!: Toast, that is. Or possibly alleged college student design asthetic. (Jen)
1-31-04 Fruity Markers: Why the arts remains such an important appendage to the educational structure. (Jaques)
1-30-04 The Anonymous Blonde's First Erotic Science Fiction: Some terrible publishing house wants to make the Anonymous Blonde write an erotic sci-fi serial for them. She's doing it, because she needs the money. But that doesn't mean she's going to do a good job. (The Anonymous Blonde)
1-29-04 Extinct Beverage: Orbitz: What if Pikachu pooped in some Pine Sol? Find out in this review. (Chefelf)
1-28-04 Great Powerpoint Demonstrations by Villains, Part 1: Skeletor's Soliloquy: Back in the day, villains had to freestyle their gloats, or use cumbersome cue cards. But if Skeletor had access to Microsoft Office, we all know He-Man would be sitting through a lengthy PowerPoint presentation like this one. (Paul)
1-27-04 Bears!: the musical: Laura's tribute to bears, and Joey Lawrence. (Laura)
1-26-04 Quest for the Crown: Paul and Nate have developed a hot new online RPG, and you'll get to be the first to play! (Paul and Nate)
1-23-04 The Future of Lance & Eskimo: A letter to our readers. (Chefelf)
1-22-04 Overrated: Diamonds: Mama Redcloud continues the Overrated tradition with an exploration of the mythos of diamonds. (Mama Redcloud)
1-21-04 The Mystery of the High Road Inn: Chapter 11: Continuing their valiant attempt to rescue Nancy, Bess and George descend into the gangster's lair! (Papa Redcloud)
1-19-04 Cropped Photos of Bill Gates: The internet is full of cropped photos of Bill Gates dressed as Hitler or Satan or Jerry Lewis. It's all getting really stale. Recently I fired up Photoshop to try to dilute the Bill Gates photo pool with some fresh new material. (Chefelf)
1-16-04 An Open Letter To My College's Bookstore's Website: Laura questions her college bookstore's right to make the claim "Buying Textbooks Just Got Easier..." (Laura)
1-14-04 The Mystery of the High Road Inn: Chapter 10: Bess and George go undercover in the seedy underworld underbelly of Carbon City! (Papa Redcloud)
1-12-04 Castles, The Princes That Fought (Chapter 6): Closing in on Mount Tarkoon (Chefelf)
1-9-04 Laura's Big Book of Baby Names: Laura proves her parental unsuitability by waxing goony about names for children. (Laura)
1-7-04 The Mystery of the High Road Inn: Chapter 9: Alarmed by Nancy's disappearance, her chums formulate a daring plan! (Papa Redcloud)
1-5-04 Matrix Reloaded Dance Scenes: I forgot to update today and I only realized this morning. So here are some pictures of people in the Matrix Reloaded that look like they're dancing. I didn't use Photoshop at all except to crop and save the pictures! (Chefelf)
12-31-03 Videotape Living Will: Lefty's premiere flash film involves funny, funny coma humor. (Lefty)
12-30-03 The Mystery of the High Road Inn: Chapter 8: Undercover as a salesman, George discovers an alarming clue! (Papa Redcloud)
12-29-03 Castles, The Princes That Fought (Chapter 5): A myth of the past that haunts the present. (Chefelf)
12-19-03 A Nancy Drew Christmas: A seasonal short story featuring Nancy Drew and chums. (Papa Redcloud)
12-18-03 Questions for Anne Rice: A book review and public service announcement in one! (J.M. Hoffman)
12-17-03 Hell Is Being Trapped in a Room With Your Friends: A Dramatist's Interpretation: Laura imagines a future that may be all too real. (Laura)
12-16-03 The Mystery of the High Road Inn: Chapter 7: Undercover as a waitress, Nancy investigates the sinister roadside inn. (Papa Redcloud)
12-15-03 Castles, The Princes That Fought (Chapter 4): Prince Green's nymph-elf escort leads him and his men to the edges of the kingdom of Sta'k'l'kkiia! (Chefelf)
12-12-03 Meet the Staff: Slade: Slade tackles the tough nineteen questions. (Slade)
12-10-03 Overrated: The Use of Classical Music in Film Scores: To the delight of the high-brow and highfalutin at heart, Papa Redcloud returns for the second day in a row with a look into the history of film music. (Papa Redcloud)
12-9-03 The Mystery of the High Road Inn: Chapter 6: Nancy formulates a daring plan while Carson considers the dangers of allowing his daughter to continue her detective work. (Papa Redcloud)
12-8-03 Castles, The Princes That Fought (Chapter 3): Prince Brown battles on in the epic continuation of Chefelf forgetting, for the third consecutive week, to write a real article Castles, The Princes That Fought! (Chefelf)
12-5-03 My Fool is a Crock: My fool is a crock - So apparently there really are consequences if you don't write a My Fool is a Crock story. I finished this one as soon as the bleeding stopped. (J.M. Hoffman)
12-4-03 The Mystery of the High Road Inn: Chapter 5: Bess searches for Joni; George prepares to perform in a play. (Papa Redcloud)
12-3-03 An Evening with Laura: Were you once Laura's friend, and now you miss her? Do you not know Laura in person, but wish you did? This handy simulation of the experience of being Laura's college pal is guaranteed to cure you of these ailments. (Laura)
12-1-03 Castles, The Princes That Fought (Chapter 2): Once again Chefelf is low on inspiration so you must read another chapter of his latest work, Castles, The Princes That Fought. (Chefelf)
11-28-03 Meet the Staff: J.M. Hoffman: J.M. Hoffman tackles the tough questions. (J.M. Hoffman)
11-27-03 Happy Thanksgiving!: Jen's hand wishes you a happy Thanksgiving. (Jen)
11-26-03 Lance and Eskimo Do the Dishes: An exciting insight into the independent thought processes of Lance Redcloud. (Laura and Laura and Paul)
11-25-03 The Mystery of the High Road Inn: Chapter 4: Nancy, Bess and George investigate Clare's situation; Nancy explains her eyeglasses. (Papa Redcloud)
11-24-03 Castles, The Princes That Fought (Chapter 1): I forgot that I had to put an update up today so I wrote this really quickly this morning. I'm sorry. For everything. (Chefelf)
11-21-03 Anthony's Pizza of World Domination: Wherein I discover a conspiracy involving a Bin Laden deputy, bumper stickers and pepperoni. (J.M. Hoffman)
11-20-03 The Anonymous Blonde's Sex Dreams Revealed! and analyzed.: They're not really sex dreams. But they're mostly about celebrities! (Anonymous Blonde)
11-19-03 Lance and Eskimo are Denied Service: Another installment in the "Lance and Eskimo At Food Stores" collection. (Laura)
11-18-03 The Mystery of the High Road Inn: Chapter 3: Nancy visits Carson's unfortunate client; Nancy and Ned banter. (Papa Redcloud)
11-17-03 Boohbahs on Parade: An expose on Boohbahs. You know, Boohbas. (Zach)
11-14-03 Yahtzee's Australia Journal (Chapter 1): Yahtzee's Australian journal begins as Yahtzee sets off for the land down under. (Yahtzee)
11-13-03 Jen's Answers to the Jenny Marx Survey: Jen tackles the tough questions in the now classic survey. (Jen)
11-12-03 Lance and Eskimo Think About Spiders: A comic that involves an "either-or" game, and the supermarket. (Laura)
11-11-03 The Mystery of the High Road Inn: Chapter 2: In the second installment of Papa Redcloud's Nancy Drew introduces her chums to Carson's shocking new case! (Papa Redcloud)
11-10-03 How To Become a Redcloud Brother: A Q & A that raises more Q's than it does answer A's. (J.M. Hoffman)
11-7-03 Yahtzee's Answers to the Jenny Marx Survey: Yahtzee handed these off to the L&E staff right before he headed out for the land down under. (Yahtzee)
11-5-03 Top Secret Info About the New Sequels to the Matrix!!: Our resident rag doll, given life long ago by Laura for the Wuzup God Project, passes along some insider information he sweet-talked out of one of the Wachowskis' dolls. (Rags)
11-4-03 The Mystery of the High Road Inn: Chapter 1: In the first chapter of Papa Redcloud's epic Nancy Drew fan fiction novel, the girl sleuth's chums Bess and George run out of gas at a strange inn! (Papa Redcloud)
11-3-03 Nate's Answers to the Jenny Marx Survey: Nate tackles the questions on the minds of all the world's communists. (Chefelf)
10-31-03 I'm Off: Don't miss Yahtzee's Last Ever Article! ...until he gets to Australia and sorts his e-mail out, that is. (Yahtzee)
10-30-03 The Anonymous Blonde's Answers to Jenny Marx's Survey: What does this Jenny Marx want from us, anyway? (The Anonymous Blonde)
10-29-03 Laura's Answers to the Jenny Marx Survey: Find out all kinds of things about Laura, primarily, "ways she answers survey questions when she's sleepy." (Laura)
10-28-03 Paul's Answers to Jenny Marx's Questions: Paul's continuation of an email forward started by Karl Marx's daughter. (Paul)
10-27-03 The Candidate: A movie about things that happen to a candidate. (J.M. Hoffman)
10-24-03 'The League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen' Was Not A Very Good Film: But it was a damn fine comic book! (Yahtzee)
10-23-03 The Light in the Attic : Behold an actual communication from Jen to her previous (not current, thankfully) landlady. Jen only wishes she had written it in jest ... (Jen)
10-22-03 Self-Effacing Responses to Snotty Survey Answers: Laura engages in some serious ass-covering by means of self-deprecation. That wacky girl! (Laura)
10-20-03 Chefelf's Personal Ad: I decided to place a personal ad to see what kind of response I'd get. So far the phone has remained silent. Because that's how personal ads work. (Chefelf)
10-17-03 The Flowchart Of Life: Probably the last flowchart I will ever make, appropriately enough. (Yahtzee)
10-16-03 The Anonymous Blonde's Half-Completed Photo Album: Look! It's a photo album half-full of pictures of the Anonymous Blonde's wacky life! Don't worry, there's more to come! (Anonymous Blonde)
10-15-03 Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's Vision: Finally, television has produced a show that the legendary author could take pride in. (Laura)
10-13-03 Old School Gaming Quiz (Part 2): You think you're so smart about your video games don't you? Part 1 was nothing more than a warmup! This is the real deal! (Slade)
10-10-03 The Spy Who Loved Me: Because Roger Moore is a smug git whose face looks like it is melting. (Yahtzee)
10-9-03 The People on the Bus Go Round and Round: The first in a continuing series examining the archetypes--evil ones!--who ride the bus with me. (Jen)
10-8-03 Canada, Schmanada: You're an innocent lass about to brave the wilds of Canada to rescue Paul and Laura Redcloud. Will you survive, or will you be eaten by grizzly bears or imprisoned by Captain Nemo, or will something even more Canadian happen? A "choose your own adventure" adventure! (Paul)
10-7-03 lores: In vague homage to one of her favorite webcomics, Henri Ennui and Me, Laura offers a collection of lo-resolution comics. (Laura)
10-6-03 A Smiley Story: A touching tale of good, evil and revenge as told with the new Instant Messenger smilies. (Chefelf)
10-3-03 Why It Would Kick Arse To Be A Character In The Film 'Logan's Run': Fish, and sea greens, and plankton, and protein from the sea. (Yahtzee)
10-2-03 A Postcard for You!: The Anonymous Blonde is on vacation in California. But she was nice enough to send us all a postcard. What a wonderful time she must be having! It's so nice of her to think of us. (Anonymous Blonde)
10-1-03 Cyberchase: A Review: Tasha watches PBS math cartoons so we don't have to. (Tasha Silver)
9-30-03 Uncle Pip in Wintertime: A story that's been passed down through generations of Redclouds, as long as there have been Redclouds. And that's a long time. Our line is of kings! Pepin the Short was a Redcloud! (Papa Redcloud)
9-29-03 The Day I Watched Game Show Network: The face of true evil reveals itself. (Amber-Nicole)
9-26-03 The "What 'What X Are You Test' Are You?" Test: Yahtzee still doesn't know dick about HTML. (Yahtzee)
9-25-03 What's Your Major?: University students, don't waste another day! Find out NOW what your major is! (Jen)
9-24-03 An Assignment for English 111: The assignment: "Connect these six objects in a non-narrative document." Laura made a quiz. (Laura)
9-23-03 Star Wars Episode III Betting Book: There's no prize for this contest, because you can't put a price tag on human suffering. (Paul)
9-22-03 Are You a Zygote?: Are you sure? You'd better take this quiz and find out for certain. (Chefelf)
9-19-03 Why Australia Is Better Than Britain: Yes indeedy. (Yahtzee)
9-18-03 A Girl's Guide to Buying a Rat: The Anonymous Blonde's ex-husband convinced her to write this how-to feature on rat-buying for a glossy women's magazine. After all that research, she'll never buy the wrong rat again! (Anonymous Blonde)
9-17-03 How Much Does Your Boyfriend Suck? I Mean Really! You Know What I Mean, Ladies. Huh? Huhhhh?: Former Girl Zone advice columnist Ariana Squirrel resurfaces showing her bitter stripes with a quiz that scientifically measures the suckiness of your current gentlemanlove. (Ariana Squirrel)
9-15-03 Smells Like Freedom: Because Americans just don't display enough needlessly patriotic things these days. (Jen & Nate)
9-12-03 Drink This: You'd be surprised what it's possible to come up with when you've got a deadline for an article and it's very late in the day. (Yahtzee)
9-11-03 Waiting in a Parking Lot: A Screenplay. (J.M. Hoffman)
9-10-03 Laura's New Favorite Book: Laura found the best book, in a universe where the mark of quality in a novel is the inclusion as a minor character of a famous real-life golden age Hollywood director. (Laura)
9-9-03 Pismo Tenderloins 2: Our favorite superhero returns to clean up the city. You should clean your city once every two months whether it needs it or not. (Paul and Laura)
9-8-03 My New Xbox: I've spent a lot of time modding my Xbox but I wasn't completely satisfied with any of the skins offered by my new operating system. (Chefelf)
9-5-03 How To Be British: My first ever 'request' article. (Yahtzee)
9-4-03 Which Wife of Henry VIII Are YOU?: The second in a series of tests revealing the member of a set of ladies who are of no interest to anyone but some serious nerds to whom you bear more than the most passing resemblance. (Come on, you can parse that!) (Anonymous Blonde)
9-3-03 My Fool is a Crock: Rory, of Rory fame, sets his long-awaited pen of Roritude to the holy parchment of "My Fool is a Crock" stories. (Rory)
9-2-03 Asking for a Raise: ... Or more accurately, how not to. (J.M. Hoffman)
9-1-03 Old School Gaming Quiz (Part 1): A simple quiz to test your knowledge of the video games of yesteryear. Well, to test your knowledge of Slade's opinions on the games of yesteryear. (Slade)
8-25-03 Unofficial Week Off: Everyone has been eaten by spiders. Come back next week. ()
8-22-03 Freddy Vs. Jason: It's about two unkillable blokes trying to kill each other! We could be here a while! (Yahtzee)
8-21-03 The Dullest Little Whorehouse in Texas: The enigmatic first chapter of the world's least-exciting detective agency. Fill in your own action! (Jen)
8-20-03 Lance Turns 21 - Part 2: The exciting continuation, of varying font size and lustre. (Laura)
8-19-03 Self-Indulgent Writer's Workshop: This year's SIWW is guaranteed to make you feel smugger about all your rejection letters. (Paul)
8-18-03 Key Food: The "key" is apparently being the worst at what you do. (Chefelf)
8-15-03 Some Leaflet The Physiotherapist Gave Me: If you can hear your spine cracking in two like a dry twig, that means it's working. (Yahtzee)
8-14-03 My Fool is a Crock: Zach guessed that we were just lying on the floor in a state of mental angst, hoping and praying that some guy we didn't know named Zach would write up a crappy My Fool is a Crock story and email it to us. Zach guessed right! (Zach)
8-13-03 Lance Turns 21- Part 1: Laura experiments in imaginary stories, multi-part comics, and typed talk bubbles. Fun fun fun! (Laura)
8-12-03 My Fool is a Crock: They're still trickling in. Jake takes a stab at the world's most popular literary style. (Jake)
8-11-03 Top 10 Funniest Things People Yell at Me When I'm Riding My Bike: When I ride my bike through the streets of Norther Rhode Island and Southern Massachusetts, many people feel it is their comedic obligation to yell clever things out of their car windows at me. I decided to compile a list of the funniest things people have yelled at me so far. (Chefelf)
8-8-03 Ask Yahtzee 3: Yahtzee continues to alleviate the nagging questions of the great viewing public. (Yahtzee)
8-7-03 A Story About Babies: The Anonymous Blonde was supposed to play poker with her friend, the Ignominious Redhead. The trouble was, the IR's new baby, Oisin Vertumnus, was making a lot of racket. The AB told him a tale in dulcet tones and he went to sleep. That tale is reprinted herein. (Anonymous Blonde)
8-6-03 Bears! Musical Arrangement: Lefty, creator of L&E sister site Polymorph, sings selected tunes from Bears!, Laura's critically disdained yet strangely life-affirming musical about bears, and Joey Lawrence. (mp3, 1412k) (Lefty)
8-5-03 The Laudry Demons: A photographic tour of Paul's soul, by way of his dirty linen. (Flash, 70k) (Paul)
8-4-03 Heccubus' Guide To Guessing Your Way Through College: A five step guide to being all that you can be, with half the effort. (Heccubus)
8-1-03 Bruce Campbell's Get Well Soon Card: Because it's nice to know there's someone there for you when you've received trivial wounds. (Yahtzee)
7-31-03 "U"'re Gonna Love It!: Toast, that is. Or possibly alleged college student design asthetic. (Jen)
7-30-03 Advice for TV Episode Summary Copy Writers: Um... yup. (Laura)
7-29-03 Problems I Have with the Big Bang Theory: Srmoore, believing the Big Bang Theory is too far-fetched, proffers a slightly more believable theory involving advanced galactic civilizations and Charlize Theron. (srmoore)
7-28-03 In the Kitchen: An attempt to make macaroni and cheese becomes cause for sorrow and heartache. (Jake)
7-25-03 Of Shampoo Adverts And Nintendo: Come one, come all, to point and laugh at dodgy 80's merchandising. (Yahtzee)
7-24-03 Caolan's Birthday Movie: Paul's favorite girlfriend delivers a largely nonsensical, occasionally mean-spirited, consistently sloppy Flash tidbit that was originally used (in part) as a party invitation, and which appears exactly one week and one day before it will be relevant. Bon appetit! (PS: Did you know that Paul and his girlfriend have the same birthday?) (Caolan)
7-23-03 Lance and Eskimo Babysit: The pair spends an evening with the charming daughter of the rich actress upstairs. (Laura)
7-22-03 Geeko!: If you haven't seen "The Screen Savers" on TechTV and you find this entertaining, well, then more power to you. (Paul)
7-21-03 Pismo Tenderloins: The first in what we can only hope will be a series of one stories about a corporate crime-fighting superhero. (Paul)
7-18-03 The Curse Of The Don't Mention Panties Game: Probably the worst thing I have ever written. (Yahtzee)
7-17-03 Absurd is Right: Absurdist fiction that puts the "ridiculous" in "absurd." (Jen)
7-16-03 My Stupid Fly Adventure: Laura is continually startled by an insect. It's really quite sad. (Laura)
7-15-03 Jake's Future (This Week, part 1): Everyone needs inflated dreams that can never be realized. Why not throw in orgies while you're at it? (Jake)
7-14-03 Additional Reasons to Hate Star Wars: Episode II (pt. 2): Yet more reasons to be filled with bitterness and hatred. (Chefelf)
7-11-03 Articulate Jim: A Search for Something: The whole shebang! Produced here with kind thanks to my sense of disillusionment! (Yahtzee)
7-10-03 Overrated: The Declaration of Independence: When in the course of human snore... (Papa Redcloud)
7-9-03 Websites that are Anagrams of Lance and Eskimo: There's more than you'd think. (Paul)
7-8-03 Lance and Eskimo and the Style Bullies: Our heroes run into a perilous duo in their building lobby. (Laura)
7-7-03 The Reign of the iloo: A grim prediction of what the future holds. (J.M. Hoffman)
7-4-03 Ask Yahtzee 2: Tell your parents it's educational. Hey, I just noticed it's the fourth of July. Hooray! (Yahtzee)
7-3-03 Can You Take Me to the Prom?: The Anonymous Blonde doesn't have any proms to go to right now, but if something comes up, she'll sure be happy to have this handy screening method for prospective dates! (Anonymous Blonde)
7-2-03 Boots: Mama Redcloud sounds off on the difficulty of purchasing appropriate footwear on the Internet. (Mama Redcloud)
7-1-03 My Fool is a Crock: A story that will make you throw back your head and howl skyward, "LITERALLY!!!" (Mr. Fabulous)
6-30-03 Crappy Things Found on Rhode Island Websites (pt. 1): The state of Rhode Island may like to think that it is hip and cutting edge but the sad fact of the matter is that it has some of the worst websites on the entire internet. Here I highlight a few of the crappy things I've found while digging through some of those sites. (Chefelf)
6-27-03 Ultra Scary Suddeny Frighty Ghosty Thing!: A parody. Or is that just what I want you to think? (Flash, 300k) (Yahtzee)
6-26-03 Jake: An Introduction: A recent entry from a reader of the site who dislikes human contact so much that he's practically a Redcloud brother already! (Jake)
6-25-03 Lance and Eskimo Visit the Rich Actress Upstairs: In which our heroes go a-calling. (Laura and Laura and Paul)
6-24-03 Posto!: The name of this post-apocalyptic Bingo game is not meant to imply that the author liked "The Postman", though the part with Tom Petty was pretty cool. (Chris)
6-23-03 I Was a Teenage Wizard: Toys "R" Us kid or no, Jen does not want Harry Potter to grow up. (Jen)
6-20-03 Friday the 13th parts 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 and 8: Did you have a busy weekend? Yahtzee had a busy weekend. (Yahtzee)
6-19-03 Additional Reasons to Hate Star Wars: Episode II (pt. 1): Hundreds of people have emailed me to tell me that there are additional reasons to hate Episode II. In order to keep this list comprehensive I have decided to begin listing their reasons. (Chefelf)
6-18-03 Lance and Eskimo Kick Ass and Take Names: Isn't multi-tasking fun? (Laura)
6-17-03 My Fool is a Crock: You can't spell "crock" without F-U-N, because "crock" is spelled "froccunk". (Annajones)
6-16-03 MSN's iloo: Festivalgoers in Britain this summer will be able to try out Microsoft's internet-enabled portable toilet. (Originally appeared in "The Bacon" Volume 1, Issue 2.) (Chefelf)
6-13-03 Ask Yahtzee: High on life, Yahtzee takes it upon himself to educate the world. (Yahtzee)
6-12-03 The American Crème: Pixy takes an in depth look at the past present and future of Oreo cookies. (Pixy)
6-11-03 Overrated: Hamlet (Part 2): "Shuffle off this mortal coil"? Honestly. It sounds like what you do between the Mashed Potato and the Twist. (Papa Redcloud)
6-10-03 Overrated: Hamlet (Part 1): Has anyone ever read it for fun? (Papa Redcloud)
6-9-03 Karma Chameleon: It's more than just a lousy song from the 80's. It's the new symbol of global telecommunications. (Chefelf)
6-6-03 Rorschach Vs. The Retard Raider: Yahtzee made a comic! Using an idea that isn't his and a character that also isn't his! (Yahtzee)
6-5-03 My Fool is a Crock: Apparently everyone's fool is a crock. (The Anonymous Blonde)
6-4-03 The Laura Trivia Quiz: Inspired by occasional emails offering a chance to be quizzed on her friends from the Quiz Your Friends network and others like it, Laura created a quiz for her friends: You. (Laura)
6-3-03 Accredited US Universities with Silly Names: Thinking of going to college, but not sure which .edu will look funniest in an email address? Paul's guide will help you decide. (Paul)
6-2-03 Extinct Beverage: Fusion Water: It's water with fusion in it. We call it "Fusion Water." (Chefelf)
5-30-03 My Fool is a Crock: Never let it be said that Yahtzee doesn't jump on bandwagons at every opportunity. He is to bandwagons what the Super Mario Brothers were to anthropomorphic mushrooms. (Yahtzee)
5-28-03 Lance and Eskimo Go Home: Another one-pager in which Lance and Eskimo head down memory lane. (Laura)
5-27-03 Paul's Online Personal: He's dating someone, but, you know, it never hurts to have insurance. (Paul)
5-26-03 My Fool is a Crock: Jen takes a stab at the newfound "Fool is a Crock" genre. (Jen)
5-23-03 100 Better Questions: A follow-up, of sorts. (Yahtzee)
5-22-03 My Fool is a Crock: Well over a year ago the Brothers Redcloud made vague plans to have a "My Fool is a Crock" theme week where they all wrote a story about the world's worst Jester. Paul and Laura snuck their stories up without alerting Nate. Nate chose today to finally release his long anticipated tale. (Chefelf)
5-21-03 The Boy Meets World Inconsistently Detailed Episode Guide for Season 5: Laura finally goes off the deep end with her fanatical yet oddly arbitrary love of the 1993-99 ABC teen sit-com Boy Meets World. (Laura)
5-20-03 People on the Bus I Hate: Nothing like a ride on public transportation to fill your soul with rancor. (Paul)
5-19-03 Chefelf Needs a New Computer: But he can't do it alone. He needs wonderful readers like you to give him money. Click below to make a Paypal donation!