SCENE 1 "Bears"
(Two newsboys run onstage.)
Rival Newsboy: Extra, extra! Stitch in time saves nine!
Joey Lawrence: Whoa!
(Enter Taramount, who approaches Ricardo and Renaldo, who are buying peaches.)
Renaldo: No comment!
(Everyone rushes willy-nilly to predetermined places on stage.)
(Everyone stomps three times; Joey Lawrence stomps four.)
SCENE II "Dance"
SCENE III "School"
MISS TRUCK steps forward.)
Miss Truck: Playtime is over!
Miss Truck: It's time for class.
(Members of the tech crew replace the market stalls with desks and a globe.)
So often I have felt,
When teaching of my class,
That I am not a schoolteacher
But a winsome british lass.
STUDENTS (including Ricardo, Renaldo, Joey Lawrence, and Bear)
(A disco ball lowers from the ceiling.)
(All the students stand up from their desks and start dancing, classic dances such as the robot and twosies and the thing where you pretend to drown. Miss Truck puts on a feather boa and pulls off her long skirt to reveal a shorter skirt.)
(She sings wordlessly over the music for a little while.)
Policeman's Voice: Bears!
(Everyone begins to scream and run away. The only one left on the darkened stage is Ricardo, kneeling in a pool of red light.)
SCENE IV "Bears (Reprise)"
How I love to stroke you
For you are so lumpy....
(The rest of the company slowly begins to emerge slowly from the shadows, wearing white.)
(A puff of red light, and the bear appears.)
Bear: Come forward, my son!
(Ricardo comes slowly toward the bear, reaching his hand out.)
Taramount: It is finished!
(The bear and Ricardo disappear in a puff of white smoke.)
SCENE V "My Best Friend's Wedding"
Renaldo: He's gone!
Taramount: Can I quote you on that?
Joey Lawrence: What happened?
Renaldo: What happened? I'll tell you...
Ever since I've known you, darling
I thought that you would never go
Now my best friend has disappeared
With a bear--I wonder where toe...
Policeman's Voice: Elves!
(Everyone screams and runs away.)
SCENE VI "Finale/Bears Reprise"
(Enter Bear from stage left, also wearing a white suit. He joins Ricardo at center stage. Wedding March begins. The pair begins to march. A priest acends from the mechanical trapdoor. He is holding a copy of the script for BEARS!)
Priest: Put your right hand on this bible. Now repeat after me...
Renaldo's voice: NO!
(Renaldo runs onstage.)
RENALDO: I have an objection, sire!
Priest: Speak up, lad...
(Renaldo and Ricardo embrace. Taramount hands Joey some flowers and he goes to the altar.)
PRIEST: You are now married.
(Joey Lawrence makes out with the bear.)
(Want more hot BEARS! action? Click here for an 1412k, approximately 90-second MP3, upon which is recorded, for your listening pleasure, a selection from the preceding musical performed by the legendary Lefty.)