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Chili Pepper Logic

I use Eudora to handle most of my e-mail. In general, I like it. I haven't had any virus problems, I find it easy to use, and for something free, the ads are suprisingly not annoying. (Especially if you have a pirated copy, which I DO NOT.)

      One interesting feature of Eudora is the "chili peppers". If you are writing an email that contains several mild swears ("bastard," "jackass", "screw you", etc.) or at least one big-time swear ("fuck"), you get assigned "chili peppers" which alert other Eudora readers that what you have to say could be offensive. You are also warned before you send the email--"Your message is likely to offend the average reader. You might consider toning it down." Since Eudora assigns chili peppers to roughly 100% of my emails, outgoing and incoming, I naturally got curious about this phenomenon.

      For one thing, Eudora assigns a "chili pepper rating" from one to three. Actually, two to three. No one has ever gotten one chili pepper. I attempted this feat several times by sending myself emails with various levels of swearing in them, but finally I gave up. On the way, though, I did make a few interesting observations.

      (The chili pepper icons represent how Eudora rated messages containing each word or phrase. A green 0 denotes no chili peppers--in other words, it was deemed "clean" by Eudora.)

  
Multiplication
ass 0
ass ass
  
Wording
I hate you
I hate people who are you0
  
What's Worse?
I will kill you
I will murder you0
I will kill the president, or at the very least, sodomize him0
  
Multiplication Part II
ass ass ass
ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass
  
Auto-Eroticism
masturbating0
masturbating masturbating
jerking off
  
Types of Sex
Let's have oral sex, bitch
Let's have anal sex, bitch0
  
What's Worse? Part II
suck my cock
suck our cocks0
  
Isles of Greece
Crete0
Lesbos
  
Homophobia
I hate gay people0
I hate queers0
I hate god damn queers0
Caesar built dykes to keep out the Helvetians
  
And finally...
XXX! child porn! women getting raped! asian assrammers! hot wet lesbian teens! cum-stained honeys! watch all this revolting smut while you whack your wet monkey in the safety of your own home.0