A Tribute to Rory

It's Rory's birthday this week. He's turning eighteen, and you know what that means. He can now buy porn, cigarettes, candy, coffee, magazines, oats, gum, and calico. (Well, he can.) He can also vote. If memory serves me correctly Rory is a staunch Green Party advocate. You may think this means he is a staunch pot smoker, but you'd be wrong. At least for now. He may, after all, be going to Hampshire next year. (And yes, I get all my college information from SNL.)

          Anyway. If you're a follower of the Reverser Music Message Board, where Nate and his fellow band members and their fans discuss, well, Reverser Music, you'll know that Nate has discussed in great vaguity a silly song he wrote about Rory. Well, he won't show his, but I'll show mine: Here is a song I wrote for Rory's birthday. Enjoy.

A song of great joy
Goes into the party mix
Of a long-haired straight boy
With limbs as thin as carrot sticks

Rory, Rory, cool to the core he
Always has a trick in store
Power-gaming, bugbear-taming
Strutting his moves on the dance floor

He's getting thinner
If that's even posso-bill
Like B.F. Skinner
He doesn't believe in my free will

Rory won't make petit-fours he
Never wants to do his chores
Instead of working he is shirking
He's okay with being poor

He waxes bubbly
When he feels like making speech
He's never stubbly
Like a fuzzy Irish peach

Rory, Rory opens the door he
Never let you in before
Tall and dainty, smiling faintly
What more could you ask for?

He always has time
To set aside for rpgs
He always sucks limes
So he won't get that disease

Rory Rory's always there for me
He's the one we must adore
A loyal true friend till the world's end
Rivers of blood and galore.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY RORY!!!

(And yes, that's part of the song.)

(And so is that.)