by: Chefelf

In the summer of 1993 Paul, Nate and Laura went to England. We'd like to say that after three weeks we returned to the United States with a better understanding of English life and culture. Unfortunately we were young and stupid so all we came back with was stories about hanging around the place we stayed watching "Telly". Also we went to see Jurrasic Park... great flick!

Nate kept a journal of his travels in Great Britain... Paul and Laura kept similar books but filled them with silly drawings. Presented here for the first time is Chef "Nate" Elf's English Travel Journals.... enjoy.

[The words in red are the words of Present Day Nate. You don't think that's too vain do you?]

12:09 A.M.
Well I'll never set my eyes on London ever again as long as I live. I wish we could have seen Abbey Road but it wasn't on the map therefore it would have taken a while to check every inch of London, Cheerio!

[I seem to do an awful lot of pissing and moaning about not seeing Abbey Road for someone who did so little to try and see it. Given two weeks I think that most people would be able to find one stinking road in London. I could have looked at the map longer or even asked someone for directions. All in all I am very disappointed with my effort in that department.]

12:18 A.M.
To send a letter to the United States you have to put a stamp with a boat on it and then another sticker so they know to put it on a plane to the United States.

On the thing of stamps I got there was a thing that says "The House of Questa." Here it is:

Isn' it weird?

12:56 A.M.
Dear Diary,
I forgot to tell you that I say a show that was really funny. It was called "Jack Dee." I hope you're not mad at me.

11:43 A.M.
Just woke up. Some poor loser has been knocking on our door for an hour and a half but we didn't wake up. I shocked her though when I threw a box of Coke at the door. I woke up for a few minutes while she was knocking but it didn't bother me very much so I went back to sleep. All in all Paul and I got a very rewarding night's sleep. I feel great!

[I don't remember who was at the door or why but we didn't get deported so it couldn't have been that bad.]

2:42 P.M.
Paul made a pot of popcorn explode all over the floor then he gave the ones on the floor to Laura. Too bad! He burned the rest so we had to start again. We read more from Exile.

[I apologize for Paul's actions, Laura.]

3:19 P.M.
We finally went shopping! We have food!

7:03 P.M.
Watched a great show about a guy who was an artist and then he had a push up contest with someone. Then we watched part of Star Trek II.

[This is taken word for word from my journal just like everything else. You just can't make stuff like this up.]

11:29 P.M.
We had to clean our room but the joke's on them. We didn't actually put new bed sheets on we just crumpled up the new ones and left the old ones on the bed. We watched the Big One again.

[I don't know what "the Big One" is.]

[Today's grade: D-, an all around poor showing.]

End of Day 16
Next time: We play poker and I kill a bug. *sigh*