• Laura's First PHP Program
  • Lance and Eskimo Comic Strip: Logic Problem
    more..
  • Shocking New Developments!
  • Halloween Article?
    more..
  • The Adventures Of Angular Mike
  • Yahtzee's Christmas Wishlist
    more..
  • Features

    Message BoardMessage Board
    CreditsCredits
    Buy StuffBuy Stuff
    Lance and EskimoL&E Home

    Friends

  • The Content-Free Vegeta Girl Zone
  • Rachel's World
    more..
  • Flash

  • Rob & Paul
  • Bilbo the Talking Gondar
    more..
  • Fun

  • Jerry Bruckheimer Plot Generator
  • Where Are You Going When You Die?
    more..
  • Extinct Beverages

  • Extinct Beverage: 180 Energy Drink
  • The Six Esses of Extinct Beverage Tasting
  • Paul Says
    L&EPaulEmail

    15 Reasons why Chocolate is Better than Sex

    • chocolate is non-judgmental
    • chocolate likes to cuddle
    • no one ever heard of "chocolate crimes"
    • if a maid left sex on your pillow, you would be sad
    • chocolate is the ultimate expression of physical intimacy
    • sex produces babies, and babies consume our world's precious zwieback reserve
    • your boyfriend never starts crying and singing the French national anthem while eating chocolate
    • chocolate isn't morally wrong
    • when chocolate strains you to its manly bosom, you can feel its throbbing masculinity underneath its rough peasant garb
    • unlike sex, chocolate never tries to pull off outdated rap slang, claiming that you are "fronting" and asking its peeps to give a shout out
    • in televised debates, chocolate always wins because sex looks all jowly on camera
    • physiologically speaking, the human orgasm uses the same muscles as being abandoned on a desert island
    • chocolate never assembles in groups of 99 for a ceremony that teaches children to hate their Christian God (oh wait, that's why chocolate is better than Smurfs)
    • Albert Schweitzer is made of fudge
    • every time you have sex, another baby kitten dies

    *

    L&EPaulEmail

  • Company X #007
  • Gullible's Travels: Day Twenty-Two
    more..
  • Geeko!
  • The Carl Sagan Song
    more..
  • Contributing Writers

  • Overrated: The Mona Lisa (Papa Redcloud)
  • Deck the Halls with Christmas Carol Ratings: Part I (Papa Redcloud)
    more..
  • Favorites

    Polymorph Want a Cracker?Polymorph
    chefelf.comChefelf
    laurahughes.comlaurahughes.com
    Anonymous BlondeAnonymous Blonde
    Fully Ramblomatic.comFullyRamblomatic.com
    more..

    Comics

  • Lance and Eskimo Comix
  • Lance and Eskimo Think About Spiders
  • Company X # 023
    more..
  • Quizzes

  • 100 Better Questions
  • The L&E Boyfriend Generator
    more..
  • Fiction

  • Uncle Pip in Wintertime
  • A Story About Babies
    more..
  • TV

  • Daisy May's BBQ USA Commercial
  • It's the Muppet Show! - Part 1