Here is every feature that Chefelf has EVER had!
5-21-09 NHL Playoff Commercial Review (Rounds 1 & 2): Chefelf reflects on the most recent NHL Playoff commercials.
4-26-09 Bea Arthur: Goodnight, but not Goodbye : In honor of Bea Arthur (May 13, 1922 – April 25, 2009).
3-31-09 Why I Hate People That Self-Identify as Nerds or Geeks: Chefelf doesn't like it when people think they're all awesome and unique because they do the same thing as millions of other people.
1-26-09 Life on Mars Towed My Car: Chefelf wakes up to discover that a crummy TV show remake of a BBC show has ordered his car towed with no notice. Can they do that? Apparently they can.
1-21-09 Barack Obama Will Not Look Like This: A controversial article where Chefelf posits that perhaps Barack Obama will age relatively normally over the next four years.
12-1-08 Lucille: Chefelf remembers the woman that influenced his gaming life more than any other single person.
11-14-08 Remembering The Box Set: Chefelf thinks it's funny to think about CD box sets.
10-21-08 Some Things I'm Sick Of: Chefelf has had it with a few of these things.
9-22-08 Why I Hate iTunes: A rambling manifesto on why Chefelf hates iTunes.
7-20-08 Tour de France Commercial Recap, Week 2: As the second week of the Tour de France ends, Chefelf reflects
on the grueling efforts of the bike riders through one of the most physically challenging sporting events in the history of the world on the cruddy commercials they play on the Versus channel.
7-11-08 Tour de France Recap, Week 1: Chefelf reflects on the first week of the Tour de France. Well, not so much about the race as about the commentators he hates and all of the commercials that he is tired of.
7-2-08 Castles, The Princes That Fought (Chapter 15): After nearly three years the Princes that Fought return to fight! For those of you that are ill (read: Paul) this is like chicken soup for your imagination!
6-27-08 Screw My Kids! I Want To Spend Time With My Kids!: Dixie takes an interesting approach in advertising by appealing to everyone's laziness and saying, "To hell with the environment! I'd rather enjoy being lazy!"
5-21-08 The Subway Is Not Your Office!: Yet terrible artists, knitters and business men seem to think it is.
5-12-08 The Juno Emarrassment: Chefelf may be the last person on Earth to see Juno. That is when he eventually sees it.
5-2-08 2 Bangs, 1 Buck and a Jack (or, Why I Hate That Guy In My Dream): A guy in my dream uses slang that I've never heard to describe amounts of money. Also, in my dream I am not able to do math. And that guy is a jerk!
4-4-08 F That A Train!: Chefelf observes a guy trying to use the powers of his middle finger to destroy an entire train.
3-11-08 You Suck at Sudoku: Chefelf encounters the world's worst Sudoku player.
2-21-08 18 Hours in a New York City Hospital: If Chefelf am going to spend much more time in the hospital it may be time for him to move out of New York. Chefelf hopes that the saying about what doesn't kill you makes you stronger is true. If it is he's going to become a superhero.
2-4-08 Good News! I Didn't Die!: Bad news: I got even sicker! Good news: I lived!
1-31-08 Maxis Games & The Flu: Chefelf gets really sick and plays SimCity, reminding him of a time he was really sick and he played The Sims. Maybe there is something in Will Wright's code that Chefelf is allergic to.
11-29-07 Why I Don't Want an Amazon Kindle For Christmas: Chefelf takes a look at Amazon's new e-book reader, the one gadget that certainly won't make it onto his Christmas list this year.
9-28-07 LittleHorse: Strangers in the Valley: LittleHorse's new album is out and it features
one two three songs about Sherlock Holmes! Does it get any better than that?
9-24-07 The Excuse Falls Flat: Chefelf takes a look at The View's Sherri Shepherd, her feelings on the Earth being flat, and a phenomenally poor display of back-pedaling.
9-12-07 My iPhone: Chefelf just got an iPhone. He's so happy about it that he actually had to adjust the forum databalse settings a chefelf.com to increase the maximum allowable filesize in kilobytes for a text entry.
9-3-07 Extinct Beverage: Hillside Coffee - Self Heating Container: Chefelf returns to his Extinct Beverage Museum to review what is possibly the most dangerous beverage he has ever consumed. It is arguably Chefelf's most daring -- and certainly his most comprehensive -- beverage review ever!
(Note: It features video where Chefelf sounds a lot more like Ira Glass than he intended.)
8-27-07 My Childhood Is Better Than Your Childhood: Chefelf explores the difference in childhood entertainment over the past 30 years. Features some pretty awesome clips from Sesame Street and some not so awesome clips from another less cool children's show.
8-23-07 Giant Godzilla Stripper: Chefelf reviews a commercial where a giant Godzilla-sized stripper wreaks havot on a tiny uninhabited CGI city.
8-20-07 Gallagher's 2000 Strip Club Commercial: The first in a series or reviews of strip club commercials. This one features space aliens in need of a lap dance.
8-14-07 Daisy May's BBQ USA Commercial: Chefelf takes a look at the commercial for Daisy May's BBQ USA, a New York City BBQ restaurant. Spoiler: It's rather incredible.
7-11-07 Born From Jets: An Open Letter to Saab: Chefelf takes a look at Saab's 'Born From Jets' advertising campaign and wonders if this is something they should be bragging about.
5-24-07 The Played Out List: Episode 1: BOM-Chicka BOW-WOW!: The first chapter in an unspecified number of chapters on things that have been well overdone.
5-16-07 Death of a Coffee Cup: Chefelf explores what happens when his favorite coffee mug breaks and he has to find a new one. No one should have to deal with such misfortune.
5-10-07 Spider-Man 3: Chefelf takes a poorly-edited look at how Spider-Man 3 deviated from the story as it was originally told in the comics.
2-19-07 The Shit Is Bananas: While going through some old files I found this scrap that I'd written in 2004 about the Gwen Stefani hit, "Hollaback Girl." The release of Gwen Stefani's new album, The Sweet Escape made me think that this would be perfect timing to discuss a song that's two and a half years old! Topical.
Warning: If you are sensitive to use of the word shit then please don't read this article.
Double Warning: Also, if you are sensitive to use of the word shit don't read the title of this article or either of the two warning messages.
9-7-06 Bob Dylan Can Go To Hell: A look at Bob Dylan's comments on the state of modern music and how he's better than everyone and everything that's ever existed.
9-4-06 Extinct Beverage: Coca-Cola Blāk: With the summer coming to a close it's time to start the 2006 Summer Extinct Beverage Round Up! There are a few choice beverages that came out this summer that are certain to be headed for the halls of extinction! Chefelf has tried them all and now he begins to pretend that he'll actually review them all.
3-13-06 Extinct Beverage: Metromint: Lance & Eskimo returns triumphantly from its 4 1/2 month Christmas break with a fresh new article! A beverage review? By Chefelf? It's like 2001 all over again with less Kubrick and more mint taste.
9-26-05 Castles, The Princes That Fought (Chapter 14): The Princes' Plan Princes unite against the great dragon, Ilkspeake.
9-19-05 Castles, The Princes That Fought (Chapter 13): The Battle At long last the battle between Green and Brown begins in earnest.
9-12-05 Castles, The Princes That Fought (Chapter 12): The Great Fire Millipede A mysterious magical creature advances on Prince Brown and his men.
9-5-05 Castles, The Princes That Fought (Chapter 11): The Armies Meet At last the armies of Prince Brown and Prince Green are united... IN BATTLE!
8-29-05 Castles, The Princes That Fought (Chapter 10): Castles, The Princes That Fought (Chapter 10)
8-22-05 Castles, The Princes That Fought (Chapter 9): Prince Green and the nymph-elf Tracy on the trail of Shocker the Wizard!
8-15-05 Castles, The Princes That Fought (Chapter 8): Don't believe in fairy tales. The approach on Mount Tarkoon.
8-8-05 The Prophecies of Nicetradamus (pt. 1): Excerpts from the oft overlooked prophecies of Nostradamus's younger cousin, Nicetradamus.
8-1-05 91 Reasons to Hate Star Wars: Episode III: Revenge of the Sith (pt. 9): Reasons 81-92 to hate Revenge of the Sith. Due to a clerical error there are actually 92 reasons! In this stunning conclusion you will see Asthmatic Cyborgs, Princess Leia, Moff Tarkin and much, much more! This is the final Reasons to Hate article ever! Until Lucas breaks his promise and makes some more Star Wars crap for us all to hate.
7-25-05 91 Reasons to Hate Star Wars: Episode III: Revenge of the Sith (pt. 8): Reasons 71-80 to hate Revenge of the Sith. Yoda's in exile, the properties of lava, the higher ground, and crappy CGI babies!
7-18-05 91 Reasons to Hate Star Wars: Episode III: Revenge of the Sith (pt. 7): Reasons 61-70 to hate Revenge of the Sith. The wonderful Volcano planet Mustafar, the death of liberty and Obi-Wan and Yoda's terrible plan.
7-11-05 91 Reasons to Hate Star Wars: Episode III: Revenge of the Sith (pt. 6): Reasons 51-60 to hate Revenge of the Sith. It's the moment you've all been waiting for... the moment where all the Jedi finally die! And what a hunt it is!
7-4-05 91 Reasons to Hate Star Wars: Episode III: Revenge of the Sith (pt. 5): Reasons 41-50 to hate Revenge of the Sith. Laugh as Obi-Wan rides a silly lizard creature! Cry as Anakin succumbs to the dark side! Vomit as Palpatine whines like an injured puppy! Tolerate it as the origins of the Emperor's terrible complexion are revealed!
6-27-05 91 Reasons to Hate Star Wars: Episode III: Revenge of the Sith (pt. 4) : Reasons 31-40 to hate Revenge of the Sith. The Jedi being morons! Operas perfomed by water! Tragedy! The return of the midi-chlorians! And much, much more!
6-20-05 91 Reasons to Hate Star Wars: Episode III: Revenge of the Sith (pt. 3): Reasons 21-30 to hate Revenge of the Sith. Romantic dialogue, unusual pregnancy, prophecies and premonisions, the Jedi code and big stupid Wookiees!
6-13-05 91 Reasons to Hate Star Wars: Episode III: Revenge of the Sith (pt. 2): Reasons 11-20 to hate Revenge of the Sith. Ignorance of basic physics, inappropriate clowning around and mispronouncing your own wife's name! The fun continues!
6-6-05 91 Reasons to Hate Star Wars: Episode III: Revenge of the Sith (pt. 1): Every hero has a lightsaber. Every saga has an end. Every guy with nothing better to do has a list of reasons to hate Star Wars. The article that took 28 years to write is finally here.
5-9-05 The Star Wars Holiday Special (Part 4): Chapters 19-27 in Chefelf's comprehensive scene-by-scene guide to the Star Wars Holiday Special. The Amorphean being, Life on Tatooine, Bea Arthur, Han and Chewie save the day and Princess Leia sings at the Life Day ceremony!
5-2-05 The Star Wars Holiday Special (Part 3): Chapters 13-18 in Chefelf's comprehensive scene-by-scene guide to the Star Wars Holiday Special. Leia & Threepio, Han & Chewie, kind Imperial officers, The Jefferson Starship, and Boba Fett!
4-25-05 The Star Wars Holiday Special (Part 2): Chapters 7-12 in Chefelf's comprehensive scene-by-scene guide to the Star Wars Holiday Special. Saundan the space trader, Darth Vader, Gormaanda, space battles, Wookiees exchanging presents and Wookiee sex fantasies!
4-18-05 The Star Wars Holiday Special (Part 1): Chapters 1-6 in Chefelf's comprehensive scene-by-scene guide to the Star Wars Holiday Special. The Milennium Falcon, Luke Skywalker, A hologramtic circus and introducing Chewbacca's family!
3-14-05 Chefelfs Notes: The Cat Who Walks Through Walls: A journal of my thoughts while reading "The Cat Who Walks Through Walls" by Robert A. Heinlein. Voted Lance & Eskimo's Article You Will Most Likely Not Want To Read in 2005 by the National Association of Long Winded & Unnecessary Reviews.
2-7-05 Reasons to Hate Star Wars: Episode III Teaser!: A special sneak peak at Chefelf's upcoming reasons to hate Star Wars: Episdoe III: The Revenge of the Sith.
1-31-05 George Lucas 1983 - 2005: A photo essay chronicling the changes in George Lucas's film philosophy over the past 23 years. Note: This is serious stuff. Only read this if you are a serious student of film such as myself. FILM NEWBIES NEED NOT APPLY!!
1-24-05 The Many Faces of Alan Greenspan: The man, the myth, the cyborg.
1-17-05 Reasons to Hate the Star Wars Special Edition DVDs: Episode VI: Return of the Jedi gets the full "Reasons to Hate" treatment in this final installment of The Nitpicker's Guide to Star Wars: The Special Edition DVDs.
11-1-04 Reasons to Hate the Star Wars Special Edition DVDs: Episode V: The second chapter in the original trilogy is finally on DVD. Was it worth the wait? Of course it wasn't!
10-18-04 Reasons to Hate Star Wars: Episode IV: A New Hope: The Specialer Edition is out and Chefelf has turned his keen eye on the changes presented in the new DVD release.
6-11-04 Company X # 027: Hugh Manatee's big joke.
6-4-04 Company X # 026: Hugh Manatee's big party!
5-14-04 Company X # 025: Introducing: Trust Doggie
5-10-04 Company X #024: Beware the enemy.
5-7-04 Company X # 023: Harry's smooth move.
5-3-04 Company X # 022: Some more biscuits!
4-30-04 Company X # 021: Tech Support.
4-26-04 Company X # 020: Harry Harmful... foiled?
4-23-04 Company X # 019: More Harry Harmful.
4-19-04 Company X # 018: Introducing Harry Harmful.
4-16-04 Company X # 017: Tales of Harry Harmful.
4-12-04 Company X # 016: Hugh Manatee's cheese table.
4-9-04 Company X # 015: Hugh Manatee orders office supplies.
4-5-04 Company X #014: A meeting of two bosses.
4-2-04 Company X #013: The press conference.
3-29-04 Company X #012: The spelling contest.
3-26-04 Company X #011: The board meeting.
3-22-04 Company X #010: Let the lawsuits begin.
3-15-04 Company X #008: About a boy ... DOG!
3-12-04 Company X #007: Introducing Hugh Manatee.
3-8-04 Company X #006: The Great Wizard and the Water Cooler.
3-5-04 Company X #005: Sweater Girl meets "Online", the Company X IT guy.
3-1-04 Company X #001: "Welcome to Company X" The premier of Chefelf's shockingly unimpressive webcomic. This kicks off a full week of comics! Check Monday through Friday!
2-23-04 Castles, The Princes That Fought (Chapter 7): In which the mighty plague on the Nymph-Elvish kingdom is revealed!
2-9-04 Star Wars :Jedi Knight 3: Jedi Academy: A review of the latest Star Wars game. Warning: This is more of a manifesto than a review. As you may be aware, Chefelf doesn't tend to be brief when critiquing Star Wars related material. However, if you intend to play this game you should really prepare yourself with this article.
1-26-04 Quest for the Crown: Paul and Nate have developed a hot new online RPG, and you'll get to be the first to play!
1-23-04 The Future of Lance & Eskimo: A letter to our readers.
1-19-04 Cropped Photos of Bill Gates: The internet is full of cropped photos of Bill Gates dressed as Hitler or Satan or Jerry Lewis. It's all getting really stale. Recently I fired up Photoshop to try to dilute the Bill Gates photo pool with some fresh new material.
1-12-04 Castles, The Princes That Fought (Chapter 6): Closing in on Mount Tarkoon
1-5-04 Matrix Reloaded Dance Scenes: I forgot to update today and I only realized this morning. So here are some pictures of people in the Matrix Reloaded that look like they're dancing. I didn't use Photoshop at all except to crop and save the pictures!
12-29-03 Castles, The Princes That Fought (Chapter 5): A myth of the past that haunts the present.
12-15-03 Castles, The Princes That Fought (Chapter 4): Prince Green's nymph-elf escort leads him and his men to the edges of the kingdom of Sta'k'l'kkiia!
12-8-03 Castles, The Princes That Fought (Chapter 3): Prince Brown battles on in the epic continuation of
Chefelf forgetting, for the third consecutive week, to write a real article Castles, The Princes That Fought!
12-1-03 Castles, The Princes That Fought (Chapter 2): Once again Chefelf is low on inspiration so you must read another chapter of his latest work, Castles, The Princes That Fought.
11-24-03 Castles, The Princes That Fought (Chapter 1): I forgot that I had to put an update up today so I wrote this really quickly this morning. I'm sorry. For everything.
11-3-03 Nate's Answers to the Jenny Marx Survey: Nate tackles the questions on the minds of all the world's communists.
10-20-03 Chefelf's Personal Ad: I decided to place a personal ad to see what kind of response I'd get. So far the phone has remained silent. Because that's how personal ads work.
10-6-03 A Smiley Story: A touching tale of good, evil and revenge as told with the new Instant Messenger smilies.
9-22-03 Are You a Zygote?: Are you sure? You'd better take this quiz and find out for certain.
9-15-03 Smells Like Freedom: Because Americans just don't display enough needlessly patriotic things these days.
9-8-03 My New Xbox: I've spent a lot of time modding my Xbox but I wasn't completely satisfied with any of the skins offered by my new operating system.
8-18-03 Key Food: The "key" is apparently being the worst at what you do.
8-11-03 Top 10 Funniest Things People Yell at Me When I'm Riding My Bike: When I ride my bike through the streets of Norther Rhode Island and Southern Massachusetts, many people feel it is their comedic obligation to yell clever things out of their car windows at me. I decided to compile a list of the funniest things people have yelled at me so far.
7-14-03 Additional Reasons to Hate Star Wars: Episode II (pt. 2): Yet more reasons to be filled with bitterness and hatred.
6-30-03 Crappy Things Found on Rhode Island Websites (pt. 1): The state of Rhode Island may like to think that it is hip and cutting edge but the sad fact of the matter is that it has some of the worst websites on the entire internet. Here I highlight a few of the crappy things I've found while digging through some of those sites.
6-19-03 Additional Reasons to Hate Star Wars: Episode II (pt. 1): Hundreds of people have emailed me to tell me that there are additional reasons to hate Episode II. In order to keep this list comprehensive I have decided to begin listing their reasons.
6-16-03 MSN's iloo: Festivalgoers in Britain this summer will be able to try out Microsoft's internet-enabled portable toilet. (Originally appeared in "The Bacon" Volume 1, Issue 2.)
6-9-03 Karma Chameleon: It's more than just a lousy song from the 80's. It's the new symbol of global telecommunications.
6-2-03 Extinct Beverage: Fusion Water: It's water with fusion in it. We call it "Fusion Water."
5-22-03 My Fool is a Crock: Well over a year ago the Brothers Redcloud made vague plans to have a "My Fool is a Crock" theme week where they all wrote a story about the world's worst Jester. Paul and Laura snuck their stories up without alerting Nate. Nate chose today to finally release his long anticipated tale.
5-19-03 Chefelf Needs a New Computer: But he can't do it alone. He needs wonderful readers like you to give him money. Click below to make a Paypal donation!
5-12-03 Pictures of Texas State Officials: An in depth look at pictures of the healthy and happy Republicans that run the great state of Texas. Don't mess with them.
5-5-03 Chris Inventions: Long-time friend of Lance & Eskimo, Chris, comes up with games, ideas and inventions all the time. They are always terrible. This is a review of some of the more memorable ideas he's had.
4-30-03 Quest for the Crown: Official Strategy Guide: Questwood Studios' QUEST FOR THE CROWN Official Strategy Guide features complete coverage of the latest game from the company that brought you THE SEARCH FOR MIGHTY-BREATH THE MAGIC PEGASUS. Players will find comprehensive walkthroughs for, as well as winning strategies for how to beat the game. In addition, area maps, detailed item lists and an all-inclusive character library are also provided. The best way to win is here! Warning: Spoilers Inside!
4-29-03 Quest for the Crown: Paul and Nate have developed a hot new online RPG, and you'll get to be the first to play!
4-28-03 Extinct Beverage: Amp: It's like Mountain Dew with ENERGY instead of caffeine!
4-21-03 Computer Keyboards: A breeding ground for unnecessary features.
4-14-03 Please "Flush". Thank's.: An ongoing battle over the state of New England signage practices.
4-7-03 No Bone Movies: A bit of nostalgia about the early years of Ozzy Osbourne's solo career.
3-31-03 Where's the Protocol? (part 1) - How to Get a Coffee: The proper way to get a coffee. A survival guide for when I'm the King of the World and you want to keep your sorry ass out of prison.
3-24-03 Extinct Beverage: 180 Energy Drink: Yet another magic energy elixir.
3-17-03 The Lovely Ladies of TechTV: A very long article about how much I would love to date all of the girls on TechTV. Written before I even met my girlfriend, I swear!
3-10-03 Patriotic Bumper Stickers: Don't get caught with your pants down when the inevitable American/British lead invasion of Iraq begins. Show your support for the war with these new patriotic bumper stickers!
3-3-03 Name That Beauty Salon! (Part 2): Once again you must determine whether I made up the lousy salon name or if it is real. Godspeed, my dear friend.
2-24-03 Extinct Beverage: Jeff's Berry Dream Soda: New York Egg Cream Soda! It's even worse than it sounds! Yes, that's possible.
2-17-03 The Locust (pt. 2): The second volume of my 1985 comic book.
2-10-03 Love: Man's Greatest Fear: A warm up for Valentine's Day. It's half article, half mindless rant, half sure to embarrass Jen and all article that is sure to embarrass me. It goes on and on and doesn't really make any point! You'll love it!
2-3-03 Cops!: A Splash! picture depicting the wild night life of Toon Town.
1-27-03 Name That Beauty Salon!: Do you have what it takes to determine which lousy beauty salon name is real and which lousy beauty salon name I made up?
1-20-03 Extinct Beverage: Niagara: The drink that quenches your thirst and makes you hot in the pants at the same time!
1-13-03 The Locust (pt. 1): A comic book that Chefelf drew in 1986.
1-6-03 Hate Email 1: Possibly the greatest advantage to having your own website is that you get to receive hate mail from people who disagree with you. Actually, that may be the ONLY advantage.
12-16-02 Winter Wonderland: Revealed: An L&E investigation into the lyrics of a popular holiday song reveals a sick and sordid tale of love, murder and drug addiction.
12-12-02 Barbarian Queen II: The Empress Strikes Back! Hey, it's their title, not mine.
12-2-02 My Christmas Wish List: All I want for Christmas is
my two front teeth a boat load of cash and a mess of presents!
11-25-02 END PROGRAM: A chilling tale of man vs. computers that almost constitutes an update!
11-18-02 Gerunds in the Movies: Now YOU can quickly generate the titles of upcoming movies! Astonish your friends by predicting the next box office failure!
11-11-02 The Six Esses of Extinct Beverage Tasting: A quick guide at how to get more out of your extinct and endangered beverage tasting.
11-4-02 Deathstalker IV: The stunning conclusion to the Deathstalker/Barbarian Queen series. Unfortunately it's a little too late for originality. Lance and Eskimo's five hundredth article!
10-28-02 Extinct Beverage: Fruit Craze: You'd have to be Fruit Crazy to like it!
10-25-02 Welcome Short Construction Workers!: Another wonderful Splash! picture.
10-21-02 Cyanide: Silent Killer: Arguably the worst piece of fiction that anyone has ever written.
10-7-02 What is the Purpose of Life?: According to some Christians it is to tease wild bobcats.
9-30-02 Extinct Beverage: Tizer: From the Tizer bottle we learn the French for "Refresh your Head" but not "This tastes like Band-Aids."
9-23-02 The Epic of Badwater Beaudry: C'mon, it's an epic poem with ASCII art... how can you not love it?
9-16-02 Motion to Strike... COMEDY GOLD!: A day in court proves to be the inspiration for great comic adventures.
9-9-02 Extinct Beverage: Venom: The drink that makes you wish you were drinking actual Venom.
9-2-02 Not for Nibblers: The makers of Triscuit snack crackers don't want you eating their disgusting product. Find out why.
8-26-02 Examine This... Earth: An amusing jaunt into sci-fi that hits a little too close to home... literally.
8-19-02 Bullseye: Chefelf survives a close call with some members of the NRA.
8-12-02 Extinct Beverage: DNA: It's like the genetic code... FOR GETTING YOU WASTED!
7-29-02 64 Reasons to Hate Star Wars: Episode II (pt. 6): The stunning conclusion to my mindless bitching.
7-22-02 Gullible's Travels: Day Twenty-Three: Our journey home.
7-15-02 64 Reasons to Hate Star Wars: Episode II (pt. 5): Maybe N'Sync would have improved things.
7-8-02 A Normal Life Process: The coming of age story of Chefelf and Paul. It involves Patrick Swayze too.
7-1-02 64 Reasons to Hate Star Wars: Episode II (pt. 4): At least he took out N'Sync.
6-24-02 64 Reasons to Hate Star Wars: Episode II (pt. 3): Then George Lucas is truly dead.
6-18-02 Gullible's Travels: Day Twenty-Two: We hang out in Reading and get into a car accident!
6-17-02 Gullible's Travels: Day Twenty-One: This beginning of a double feature to get these damn travel journals over with. Our "adventure" begins in Birmingham and we see lots of pictures of Lady Godiva in Coventry.
6-10-02 64 Reasons to Hate Star Wars: Episode II (pt. 2): The nitpicking continues.
6-3-02 The Chris Livingston Interview: The star of notmydesk.com sits down with me and discusses his loves, his life and the one decision that changed his life forever.
5-27-02 64 Reasons to Hate Star Wars: Episode II: Reasons to hate the sequel to The Phantom Menace by popular demand. No REALLY, it's the first thing that I've ever done that was actually demanded!
5-20-02 Join the Cub Scouts or DIE!: Recently uncovered propaganda by the Cub Scouts of America.
5-16-02 78 Reasons to Hate Star Wars: Episode I (pt. 8): The stunning conclusion. Find out the last eight reasons to hate this movie! And remember, my opinion is right but your opinion is wrong.
5-6-02 Extinct Beverage: KMX Energy Drink: Yet another "lightly carbonated" energy drink to tear up your stomach.
4-29-02 78 Reasons to Hate Star Wars: Episode I (pt.7): Mommy? Why did George Lucas try to ruin our lives? Does he hate us?
4-23-02 How Long Would it Take to Kill Bill Gates with an Axe?: Finally, proof that Bill Gates is the baddest mofo ever!
4-22-02 Gullible's Travels: Day Twenty: Our journey to Wales where Laura throws up on me!
4-15-02 78 Reasons to Hate Star Wars: Episode I (pt. 6): Fear is the path to the dark side... fear leads to anger... anger leads to hate.. hate leads to suffering.
4-8-02 Elf Pickup Lines: Because sometimes humor doesn't have to be funny.
4-1-02 78 Reasons to Hate Star Wars: Episode I (pt. 5): This wasn't a disappointment. Disappointment is when you find out that Nickelodeon has taken to playing "Lassie" instead of "Danger Mouse". This was an outrage!
3-25-02 Gullible's Travels: Day Nineteen: We see actual Roman Ruins and Laura bathes a plastic dinosaur!
3-19-02 78 Reasons to Hate Star Wars: Episode I (pt. 4): I hadn't cried in five years before May 19, 1999.
3-11-02 Gullible's Travels: Day Eighteen: My spelling lesson for Laura at the stone circles.
3-4-02 78 Reasons to Hate Star Wars: Episode I (pt. 3): George Lucas made our generation then waited twenty years to break us.
2-25-02 Windows XP Part 5: The conclusion to my tired ranting and complaining about Windows XP. I promise.
2-18-02 78 Reasons to Hate Star Wars: Episode I (pt. 2): You weren't expecting too much. What you were expecting was a GOOD movie.
2-11-02 Amazing But True Cat Facts: All the answers to your insane questions about felines.
2-4-02 78 Reasons to Hate Star Wars: Episode I (pt. 1): Because bad movies can ruin lives.
1-29-02 Ringworld Remembered: Paul and Nate review classic sci-fi novel Ringworld.
1-28-02 Windows XP Part 4: Games (pt.3) By purchasing the Windows XP Plus! package you can get THREE more games! And they're the worst games! Now that's $49.95 well spent.
1-21-02 Windows XP Part 3: Games (pt.2) Windows XP allows you to play games online against other Windows XP users! Why pay $9.00 for a checker board when you can use a $1000 computer and avoid all human contact?
1-14-02 Emergency!: The different stages of emergency on the road as I see them.
1-7-02 Gullible's Travels: Day Seventeen: The day we played a lot of poker and I killed a bug!
12-31-01 Windows XP Part 2: Games (pt.1) Here I take a look at the vast "improvements" Microsoft has made to its Solitaire game. Bored secretaries of the world rejoice!
12-26-01 Windows XP Part 1: The not at all anticipated Chefelf review of Microsoft's new Operating System!
12-17-01 Barbarian Queen: The think tank behind the fabulous Deathstalker Series brings us a tale of a woman who is neither a Barbarian nor a Queen.
12-10-01 Gullible's Travels: Day Sixteen: Exploding popcorn and a whole lot of Telly.
12-3-01 Lingerie Poetry: The lovely ladies of daytime TV wax poetic on the sexiest of women's undergarments.
11-26-01 Double Trouble: The Barbarian Brothers find themselves on opposite sides of the law and we delight in the antics that follow.
11-19-01 Gullible's Travels: Day Fifteen: We actually see "Jurassic Park" this time and go to freakin' Burger King for lunch.
11-12-01 Ghosts & Wizards 'N Goblins & Warriors: An essay on the hardest and easiest Nintendo games ever made.
11-5-01 Extinct Beverage: Hansen's Slimdown: A drink that will make you slim down! But I'd rather just vomit up my meals.
10-29-01 Gullible's Travels: Day Fourteen: Our tour of Freud's house is cut short because we don't want to miss the matinee showing of "Jurassic Park"! But we do anyway.
10-22-01 Meeting Bruce Campbell: Meeting one of my favorite people in the world turns into an adventure when I find out that he's just as cool in real life as in Brisco County, Jr.
10-18-01 Battling the Batting Cages: My experience trying to hit a ball the size of my head with a baseball bat.
10-1-01 Deathstalker II: Duel of the Titans: One of the four best Deathstalker movies I've ever seen!
9-17-01 Gullible's Travels: Day 13: Stephen Fry on Telly and lunch in Burger King... again.
9-10-01 Jerry Bruckheimer Plot Generator: Chefelf has journeyed through time to bring back plots and spoilers from the Jerry Bruckheimer movies of the future!
9-3-01 Extinct Beverage: Lucozade: Do you want to drink the same stuff that gives Lara Croft her energy? You might not want to after you taste it.
8-27-01 Twin Sitters: The Barbarian Brothers' swan song.
8-20-01 Raka: My Santa (pt. 2): A continuation of the presents that Raka sent me.
8-13-01 Raka: My Santa (pt. 1): Raka sent me a box of stuff. What I found inside was better than Christmas morning.
8-10-01 Gullible's Travels: Day Twelve: Dinner at Garfunkel's (not as cool as it sounds) and we meet the Queen!
8-6-01 Pinball Wizardry: The best in spectator gaming since Solitaire.
7-30-01 The Grumpy Whale: A Splash! Picture about a grumpy whale who is less than satisfied with his aquatic lifestyle.
7-27-01 Gullible's Travels: Day Eleven: Burger King, Sean Connery and Paul's 17th birthday!
7-23-01 The F'ing Birds!: My struggle for sleep during Chirpfest 2001.
7-16-01 Think Big: The Barbarian Brothers' Magnum Opus.
7-13-01 Gullible's Travels: Day Ten: Paul and I hike through some woods and then see the movie "Django."
7-9-01 Extinct Beverage: Red Bull: The beverage that promises to "give you wings."
7-2-01 E.T. Extra Terrestrial Savior: Ever feel like prostrating yourself in front of E.T.? There's a reason why. Find out here.
6-29-01 Gullible's Travels: Day Nine: Our trip see the Phantom of the Opera and our quest to find Paddington Bear!
6-25-01 Your Grandfather's Moustache: A Splash! picture dedicated to the world famous restaurant: Your Grandfather's Moustache.
6-18-01 The Legend of Zelda Enemies, Part Two: Chefelf explores the enemies of the underworld from Nintendo's Legend of Zelda.
6-15-01 Gullible's Travels: Day Eight: We go to the Imperial War Museum and eat at Starburger!
6-11-01 Gnomesong!: (Flash, 1mb) Chefelf's first film. Depending on box office revenue, maybe his last.
6-4-01 My New Apartment: A look at various aspects of my new residence.
6-1-01 Gullible's Travels: Day Seven: We go to see "Les Miserables" and I teach Laura to worship me!
5-28-01 Totally Rad: A most triumphant game about some excellent dudes, Dude!
5-21-01 Elect Chefelf: Why I should be voted the cutest Redcloud brother.
5-18-01 Gullible's Travels: Day Six: Our trip to Oxford where we... *sigh* buy art supplies.
5-14-01 Deathstalker III: The Warriors From Hell: Deathstalker smirks his way through an encounter with a flamboyantly gay wizard and into our hearts.
5-7-01 The Legend of Zelda -- Enemies (part one): Chefelf explores the enemies of the overworld from Nintendo's "Legend of Zelda."
5-4-01 Gullible's Travels: Day Five: I get yelled at in Westminster Abbey and finally get off my ass and have a crumpet.
4-30-01 What Goes Up Must Come Dow: My day as a Stock Market guy.
4-23-01 Mu Mu Bunny Lips: A Splash! picture of the insidious Mumu Bunnylips!
4-20-01 Gullible's Travels: Day Four: The day we discovered Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles and doner Kebabs.
4-16-01 Sorceress: Womankind's answer to the Barbarian Brothers. Unfortunately it was the wrong answer.
4-9-01 People with Girlfriends: Want to know what makes them tick? Find out here.
4-6-01 Gullible's Travels: Day Three: Read about us eating Sultana Bran and playing poker.
4-2-01 The Legend of Zelda -- Characters: A brief rundown of the various characters present in Nintendo's "Legend of Zelda."
3-30-01 Gullible's Travels: Day Two: Our arrival in England and the beginning of our bout with jet lag.
3-26-01 Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon: Americans speak their mind about the martial arts epic.
3-23-01 Gullible's Travels: Day One: Paul, Nate and Laura depart on their journey across the Atlantic.
3-19-01 Spelunker: An "Indiana Jones" type adventure for the Nintendo Entertainment System that taught my generation to fear its own mortality!
3-12-01 Iron Warrior: A movie about some walking, some slow motion and some adobe.
3-8-01 Mother Nature's Fury: As Rhode Island reels from the devestation of a natural weather pattern, Chefelf tries to make sense of the situation.
3-5-01 The Legend of Zelda -- Level Bosses: Chefelf explores the Level Bosses of Nintendo's classic "Legend of Zelda."
3-1-01 The Sarah Mitt Collection: A collection of Splash! pictures of or involving the enigmatic Sarah Mitt and her life.
2-26-01 Emergency Steak: For when you are out of steak but have some hamburger and Wheaties lying around.
2-22-01 Extinct Beverage: Orbitz: What if Pikachu pooped in some Pine Sol? Find out in this review.
2-19-01 Skyscraper: Anna-Nicole Smith's epic adventure through a really small skyscraper.
2-16-01 Can Technology: Sauntering down the evolutionary trail.
2-13-01 Bad Street Brawler: The classic game for NES. If by classic you mean 'not at all popular or classic.'
2-6-01 Extinct Beverage: Chubby: A delicious soft drink from the West Indies.
1-31-01 The Sword and the Sorcerer: A fantastic movie about a man, a 3-bladed sword and another man.
1-30-01 The Legend of Zelda -- Items: Chefelf explores the different items for Nintendo's "Legend of Zelda."
1-24-01 48 Minutes in Home Depot: A play-by-play recount of one man's misery.
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